This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for

     www.democraticunderground.com



I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with
the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't
take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one -
not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap
someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my
hand touched his for a second.

At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."

"You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who
spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not being in
the home with the kids.

Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
there, it was almost blinding.

Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all
heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and
women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs.
Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group wrapped
itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their faces
blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.

I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
read "Kucinich for President 2004."

Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.

"HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A SHIELD
BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND PERVERSIONS."

"YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"

Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
started looking for a door.

"By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
yourselves if you'd read a few other books."

There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
bullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped, the
shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots, and I
saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.

"Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."

I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself outside
of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy flyers.

On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
>   This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
> ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for
>
>      www.democraticunderground.com
>
> I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with
> the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't
> take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one -
> not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap
> someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my
> hand touched his for a second.
>
> At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
> light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
> FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
> 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."
>
> "You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
> explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
> standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
> doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who
> spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not being in
> the home with the kids.
>
> Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
> multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
> watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
> them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
> rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
> there, it was almost blinding.
>
> Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all
> heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and
> women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs.
> Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group wrapped
> itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their faces
> blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.
>
> I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
> way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
> pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
> button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
> read "Kucinich for President 2004."
>
> Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.
>
> "HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
> THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
> FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A SHIELD
> BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND PERVERSIONS."
>
> "YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
> wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
> PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
> YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"
>
> Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
> right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
> their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
> guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
> started looking for a door.
>
> "By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
> end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
> how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
> evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
> to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
> yourselves if you'd read a few other books."
>
> There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
> roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
> fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
> orbullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped, the
> shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots, and I
> saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.
>
> "Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."
>
> I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself outside p
> of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy flyers.

REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
implications ?

On Jun 4, 3:12 pm, "IlBeBa...@gmail.com"  wrote:
> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> >   This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
> > ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for
>
> >      www.democraticunderground.com
>
> > I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with
> > the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't
> > take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one -
> > not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap
> > someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my
> > hand touched his for a second.
>
> > At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
> > light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
> > FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
> > 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."
>
> > "You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
> > explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
> > standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
> > doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who
> > spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not being in
> > the home with the kids.
>
> > Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
> > multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
> > watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
> > them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
> > rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
> > there, it was almost blinding.
>
> > Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all
> > heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and
> > women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs.
> > Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group wrapped
> > itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their faces
> > blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.
>
> > I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
> > way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
> > pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
> > button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
> > read "Kucinich for President 2004."
>
> > Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.
>
> > "HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
> > THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
> > FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A SHIELD
> > BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND PERVERSIONS."
>
> > "YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
> > wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
> > PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
> > YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"
>
> > Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
> > right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
> > their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
> > guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
> > started looking for a door.
>
> > "By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
> > end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
> > how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
> > evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
> > to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
> > yourselves if you'd read a few other books."
>
> > There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
> > roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
> > fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
> > orbullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped, the
> > shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots, and I
> > saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.
>
> > "Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."
>
> > I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself outside p
> > of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy flyers.
>
> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
> Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?

Of course. That is how I came to discover it is an artifact of an
ancient mythology, and not in any way a scientific guide or an
accurate record of history.

> Or, do
> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> implications ?

Do *you* "automatically discount" Japanese animation due to personal
implications? A story's a story. There is no difference between their
fairy tale and yours.

-Panama Floyd, Atlanta.
aa#2015/KoBAAWA!

On Jun 4, 12:12 pm, "IlBeBa...@gmail.com"  wrote:

<Snip excellent parable>

> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
> Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> implications ?

Yes, I have, and it has none.  The bible is neither scientifically
accurate nor historically accurate.  It is a book of fables and
political doctrine written for a tribe of desert goat-herders 2000
years ago.

Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
BAAWA Knight
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes nine at cox dot net

On Jun 4, 12:12 pm, "IlBeBa...@gmail.com"  wrote:
> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> >   This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
> > ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for
>
> >      www.democraticunderground.com
>
> > I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with
> > the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't
> > take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one -
> > not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap
> > someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my
> > hand touched his for a second.
>
> > At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
> > light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
> > FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
> > 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."
>
> > "You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
> > explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
> > standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
> > doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who
> > spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not being in
> > the home with the kids.
>
> > Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
> > multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
> > watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
> > them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
> > rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
> > there, it was almost blinding.
>
> > Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all
> > heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and
> > women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs.
> > Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group wrapped
> > itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their faces
> > blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.
>
> > I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
> > way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
> > pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
> > button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
> > read "Kucinich for President 2004."
>
> > Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.
>
> > "HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
> > THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
> > FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A SHIELD
> > BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND PERVERSIONS."
>
> > "YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
> > wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
> > PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
> > YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"
>
> > Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
> > right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
> > their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
> > guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
> > started looking for a door.
>
> > "By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
> > end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
> > how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
> > evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
> > to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
> > yourselves if you'd read a few other books."
>
> > There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
> > roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
> > fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
> > orbullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped, the
> > shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots, and I
> > saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.
>
> > "Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."
>
> > I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself outside p
> > of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy flyers.
>
> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
> Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> implications ?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

The bible is nothing more than a lame-assed collection of myths,
fables, lies, superstitions, fairy tales, and fiction.
If you had even a bit of common sense or intelligence, you'd
understand, but you're too fucking stupid and brainwashed to process
new information

panamfloyd@hotmail.com wrote in
news:e01839e1-42d6-4f91-9f3d-575e0469bb3c@59g2000hsb.googlegroups.com: 

> On Jun 4, 3:12 pm, "IlBeBa...@gmail.com"  wrote:
>> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:

>> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into
>> the Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?
> 
> Of course. That is how I came to discover it is an artifact of an
> ancient mythology, and not in any way a scientific guide or an
> accurate record of history.
> 
>> Or, do
>> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
>> implications ?
> 
> Do *you* "automatically discount" Japanese animation due to personal
> implications? A story's a story. There is no difference between their
> fairy tale and yours.

Yeah there is. Anime is fun.

-- 
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Heckling
aa # 1939

Religion is scapegoating writ large. -- Christopher Hitchens

IlBeBauck@gmail.com wrote:
> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
>>   This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
>> ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for
>>
>>      www.democraticunderground.com
>>
>> I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude with
>> the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I don't
>> take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to take one -
>> not because I want it, but because it'll be one less piece of crap
>> someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the day - and my
>> hand touched his for a second.
>>
>> At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
>> light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
>> FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
>> 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."
>>
>> "You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
>> explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
>> standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
>> doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy who
>> spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not being in
>> the home with the kids.
>>
>> Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
>> multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
>> watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
>> them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
>> rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
>> there, it was almost blinding.
>>
>> Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and all
>> heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad men and
>> women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the martyrs.
>> Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group wrapped
>> itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their faces
>> blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.
>>
>> I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
>> way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
>> pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
>> button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
>> read "Kucinich for President 2004."
>>
>> Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.
>>
>> "HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
>> THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
>> FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A SHIELD
>> BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND PERVERSIONS."
>>
>> "YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
>> wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
>> PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
>> YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"
>>
>> Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
>> right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
>> their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
>> guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
>> started looking for a door.
>>
>> "By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
>> end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
>> how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
>> evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
>> to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
>> yourselves if you'd read a few other books."
>>
>> There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
>> roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
>> fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
>> orbullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped, the
>> shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots, and I
>> saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.
>>
>> "Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."
>>
>> I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself outside p
>> of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy flyers.
> 
> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
> Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> implications ?


    Yes I have taken the time to look into that..and the fact that the 
bible is nothing but fiction for people that are wallowing in fear 
..there are no implicationsin the bible  for sentient beings...just 
mindless sheep...


“Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the 
question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it 
right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is 
neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one 
it is right.”
     Martin Luther king Jr.

IlBeBauck@gmail.com wrote:
> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
>> This deserves to be read far more than the bile..uh, I mean bible
>> ever did...it was written back in 2006 by WilliamPitt for
>>
>> www.democraticunderground.com
>>
>> I was walking down by Fenway Park today, and came across the dude
>> with the boards over his torso that tell me I'm going to Hell if I
>> don't take the greasy little flyer he's handing out. I decided to
>> take one - not because I want it, but because it'll be one less
>> piece of crap someone else has to read, kind of my good deed for the
>> day - and my hand touched his for a second.
>>
>> At that second, that exact second, there was this eruption of white
>> light around us. "It's time," I heard the guy whisper, and then
>> FOOM!!! we were flying through space like that scene out of the movie
>> 2001. "Hang on," I yelled, "wait, what, how..."
>>
>> "You must be one of the 144,000," the guy told me. Before I could
>> explain how incredibly fucking dubious that was, we were suddenly
>> standing in a white room with 143,999 others. I was the extra, the
>> doofus who accidentally got sucked up in the rapture wake of a guy
>> who spends his days telling women they're going to hell for not
>> being in the home with the kids.
>>
>> Ugh. Imagine the absolute worst party you've ever been to, and then
>> multiply that a billionfold. What a pack of insufferable asshats. I
>> watched Pat Robertson high-fiving Ronald Reagan, watched the two of
>> them link arms and dance around like drunken monkeys. All these
>> rapture-ready fools were unutterably self-satisfied down on earth; up
>> there, it was almost blinding.
>>
>> Suddenly, there was a roar, and a rumbling. The clouds parted, and
>> all heads turned. We saw Jesus leading a large group of white-clad
>> men and women. There were the apostles, and the angels, and the
>> martyrs. Strangely, they were all carrying violin cases. The group
>> wrapped itself as a semi-circle around the crowd of rapturees, their
>> faces blank, their fingers tapping the black cases.
>>
>> I saw two gleaming points of light on Jesus' lapels, and elbowed my
>> way through the crowd, through the stink of rosewater and old bible
>> pages, to get a better look. I squinted in. On his left lapel was a
>> button that read "Teach Peace." On his right lapel was a button that
>> read "Kucinich for President 2004."
>>
>> Oh shit, I thought, and I made my way to the very back of the room.
>>
>> "HARKEN UNTO ME," rumbled the voice of Jesus. "YOU PEOPLE HAVE
>> THOROUGHLY DISGRACED THE RELIGION OF MY FATHER. YOU HAVE PERVERTED A
>> FAITH BASED ON PEACE AND LOVE INTO A CLUB, INTO A SWORD, INTO A
>> SHIELD BEHIND WHICH YOU HIDE YOUR OWN GROSS HYPOCRISIES AND
>> PERVERSIONS."
>>
>> "YOU SEE THIS?" he said, holding up his left hand so the scar at his
>> wrist could be seen. "DO YOU THINK I GOT NAILED TO A TREE SO YOU
>> PEOPLE COULD RUN AROUND WITH YOUR HOLIER-THAN-THOU CONDEMNATIONS? SO
>> YOU COULD SPREAD HATE IN THE GUISE OF LOVE? NO!"
>>
>> Jesus looked left, and nodded to his group of saints, and looked
>> right, and nooded to his group of saints. As one, they all opened
>> their violin cases and pulled out gleaming white Thompson submachine
>> guns. The crowd of rapturees audibly gasped and backed up, and I
>> started looking for a door.
>>
>> "By the way, shitheads," said St. John, "Revelation wasn't about the
>> end of the fucking world. It was code meant for captive Judea about
>> how to overcome and overwhelm the Roman occupation. It was about the
>> evils of the Emperor. Beasts with 666 on their heads? That's supposed
>> to be real? You stupid meatsacks would have done a lot better with
>> yourselves if you'd read a few other books."
>>
>> There was an incredible moment of stunned silence, and then Jesus
>> roared, "FIRE!" The Tommy guns belched lead and the chosen spun and
>> fell. Just then, I found a trap door in the floor. I yanked it up as
>> orbullets snapped through the air around me. Right before I jumped,
>> the shooting began to wind down to a few execution-style head shots,
>> and I saw Jesus talking to a dude in a red suit.
>>
>> "Take them downstairs, Morningstar," said Jesus. "We have a deal."
>>
>> I jumped, and the bright lights came back, and I found myself
>> outside p of Fenway again. Around my feet fluttered a few greasy
>> flyers.
>
> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
> Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> implications ?

Dickwadd I've found a new newsgruop for you to troll in: Here's a link:-
news:alt.talk.bollocks

-- 
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Personalised Desktop Computers

wrote in message 
news:084e932d-7652-45e1-acfb-394f0c097a24@d77g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:

REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into the
Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?  Or, do
you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
implications ?

Yes I have and is an odd collection of unauthenticated books of myths and 
fables!
Pure nonsense!

In article , 
gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com says...
> panamfloyd@hotmail.com wrote in
> news:e01839e1-42d6-4f91-9f3d-575e0469bb3c@59g2000hsb.googlegroups.com: 
> 
> > On Jun 4, 3:12 pm, "IlBeBa...@gmail.com"  wrote:
> >> On Jun 3, 10:38 pm, TT  wrote:
> 
> >> REPLY: Have you ever bothered to take the time to really look into
> >> the Bibles credibility from a scientific and historic standpoint ?
> > 
> > Of course. That is how I came to discover it is an artifact of an
> > ancient mythology, and not in any way a scientific guide or an
> > accurate record of history.
> > 
> >> Or, do
> >> you automatically discount the Bible due to personal (moral)
> >> implications ?
> > 
> > Do *you* "automatically discount" Japanese animation due to personal
> > implications? A story's a story. There is no difference between their
> > fairy tale and yours.
> 
> Yeah there is. Anime is fun.

  Hai!  Honto! 
 

-- 
 Siobhan - a.a. #2201
EAC Department of Vindictive Astronomy
hellflower.alMayne@earthlink.net (Now a real address, if you ice the 
.alMayne.)

  Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo.