Hi,

Got a thorny issue, really a question of digging myself out of a legal
hole; I'll try and keep it as concise as possible:

I'm 44, married to a 19 year old west African girl (I know, but
believe me I am not a lucky guy!) and we have a beautiful 18 month old
daughter.
We've been married 2 years, living between Uk and Ghana. Problems
began 1 year ago when wife became violent, hitting me about 10 times in
the last 12 months, police were called by me on most occasions. She
neglected the child, leaving her with me to go out partying, often
disappearing for 24 hours at one go. In May this year I also had firmly
strong suspicions she was having an affair.....so I filed for divorce
and threw her out of the house, leaving me in sole charge of the child.
I obtained a Residence order for the child...and fine.....except I
continued to be subjected to physical and psychological abuse from wife
during daily access visits. Wife further untruthfully alleged that I
had raped her and was a cocaine user to the authorities. I cracked up,
and the day before we were due in court for an challenge to the Res
Order by her, I left the child alone for 30 mins. Wife was watching the
house, called the cops and I received a warning for child neglect.
My other problem is that I've had a drink problem for several years,
exacerbated in times of stress like I was undergoing.
.. Wife was put technically "in charge" of child pending Social
Services reports. Six days later she returned the child to me saying
she could not cope and I took them both back in. There was no further
violence from her for 3 months but plenty of verbal abuse and continued
partying (I kept diaries of all of this). The Social Worker's report
showed that I had alcohol issues when in charge of the child and that
my wife was "not responsible enough to be a mother". A month ago,
we were back in court, and the matter was again made pending a "core
assessment" by Social Services
In August I obtained photographic evidence of my wife having an affair
(along with text messages, e-mails, etc.). In September she announced
she had got a job. I was suspicious, had her followed and found she was
working in a "massage parlour". I got video evidence of her going
to work and signed statements from 3 people that substantiate this. We
moved house to a nicer house for the child in a leafy suburb. I also
cut down my drinking vastly, went on anti-depressants, went to AA
meetings, signed up for the local Community Alcohol Team, started to go
to counselling to help with my drink problem. This can be
substantiated.
  Meantime my wife refused to contribute towards household expenses and
rent. A week ago, matters came to a head, my wife was again violent to
me in the presence of the child (I was stone cold sober). But when I
called the police, my wife lied to them and said I had pushed her. The
police did not know who to believe and suggested I left the house for
the night which I did. I got a voice recorder to verify the truth of
the situation but my wife discovered it, and was again violent to me
two days later. I realised I could not call the police that time as she
would lie to them again. So I decided to throw her out again. But, I
informed the social services first. The social worker said, that
because I had left the child alone and since I had alcohol issues, that
until she did her "core assessment" she could not recommend I be
left with the child and I should hand her over to the mother as
incredibly, she said there was "no risk" of my wife having the
child.. I disagreed but complied with her suggestion. So wife and child
left house.
Clearly I feel that wife is incapable of being responsible enough to
bring up the child without substantial help, and family, friends and
lawyer are confident wife will "screw up" and show her true
colours.  We are due in court on Dec 4th for the final hearing. In a
week the social worker is coming to start her core assessment with me,
I can demonstrate an improved lifestyle and approach, but it I early
days of course, but there are a number of issues I need to establish
before:

1)	Social worker feels that my wife having an affair and working as a
prostitute has no bearing on the child custody issue. I can see her
point but feel wife is a bad role model for the child. Any other
arguments I can use ? How much bearing does my wife's
"character", as a lying, cheating, not-very-nice-person and
complete lack of morality have in the judge's mind?
2)	Wife is a world class liar and feel the social worker has been taken
in by her, associating my drinking in the past with wife's
allegations of violence by me. I am faced with defending the
indefensible. Anything I can say to the social worker?
3)	My wife also has a major visa problem. She is in the Uk on a 2 year
settlement visa which expires in Jan 2007. She has to apply for an
Indefinite Leave to Remain. But I contacted the Home Office and written
to them withdrawing my sponsorship of her, so they say she cannot
apply. So in 2 months she will be living and working here illegally.
How will the judge look at this in terms of child custody? Is there any
other way she could manage to stay here legally?
4)	I am told I can object/complain about the social worker's action
of suggesting I hand the child over to my wife last week, saying she
saw "no risk" in my wife caring for her., by contacting her Team
Manager. I don't want to upset the social worker, but will challenge
her on this issue and if necessary file a complaint. Is this advisable?
Any other action I can take?
5)	Is it worth me instructing my lawyer to try for a "shared
Residency Order", with the child living with me part of the week and
with wife part of the week? How likely or common is this?

Many thanks for any help received!

Anon