On Sat, 08 Sep 2007 01:15:22 -0000, TheDeathOfBrian@gmail.com wrote:

>
>I said to Emma, the other night, MY COCK NEEDS LICKING! She called in
>Richard, (or as me and my girlfriends lovingly refer to him, Snippety
>Dick) my hairdresser and he happily lifted my huge girth out of the
>way while Emma got down to work (once she'd found her eyebrow tweezers
>and (non-eyebrow) microscope).
>
>Unfortunately I couldn't get a stiffy, not just because of the
>horrendous amount of artery clogging lard in my nob veins, but also
>because Emma was not a man. Richard had to finish me off, while Emma
>ate a Gregg's pie (or seven).

He'll eat your pies, he'll tell you lies,
You wouldn't believe that fat bastard's size
His massive gut is forty foot, it goes dark when he walks in the pub
His buttocks part, you'll smell his farts,
He's so fat, he can't wipe his own arse.
So now you've heard about the ugly turd,
He's a virgin and he's never had a bird
Does anyone know he's gay? He goes round spreading AIDS.
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
Has anyone seen him eat? He's never seen his feet.
The fat bastard.
Five hundred pounds, he's very round,
But he gets taller when he lies on the ground
He busts his flies, but he can't hide,
Coz he's too big, too fat and too fucking wide
Can anyone guess his weight? That was his fourteenth plate
(We haven't got a clue where the fat fucker is)
His backside blubbers about, cleavage peeping out
The fat bastard