http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece

I'm finally a babe magnet...



-- 
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

The Medway Handyman wrote:
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
> 
> I'm finally a babe magnet...

"A staggering 95 per cent find men with no DIY skills a turn-off.
One in ten would DUMP them."

After 20+ years of putting up with me and my round tuits I think SWMBO 
would have something to say about the above statistics...

David

"The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>

More populist clap-trap from that money grabbing parasite Murdick
IOW...
-- 
Wikipedia: the Internet equivalent of
Hyde Park and 'speakers corner'...

The Medway Handyman wrote:
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
> I'm finally a babe magnet...

They're way behind the times Dave, that sort of stuff was happening when I 
"was on the tools" way back in the 'year dot'  ;-)

Tanner-'op

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "The Medway Handyman"
 saying something like:

>http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
>I'm finally a babe magnet...

Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead wasn't based on nothing, you know.
-- 
Dave
GS850x2 XS650 SE6a

"It's a moron working with power tools.
 How much more suspenseful can you get?"
 - House

"Grimly Curmudgeon"  wrote in message 
news:g86r28$3bt$2@registered.motzarella.org...
<snip>
>
> Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead wasn't based on nothing, you know.

Are you sure it wasn't 'Toolbag Ted from Teddington' - just seems to 
rime better?!
-- 
Wikipedia: the Internet equivalent of
Hyde Park and 'speakers corner'...

On 16 Aug, 16:32, "Jerry" <INVA...@INVALID.INVALID> wrote:
> "Grimly Curmudgeon"  wrote in message
>
> news:g86r28$3bt$2@registered.motzarella.org...
> <snip>
>
>
>
> > Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead wasn't based on nothing, you know.
>
> Are you sure it wasn't 'Toolbag Ted from Teddington' - just seems to
> rime better?!

I believe you may be thinking of Two Ton Ted from Teddington, who
drove the baker's van.

"The Medway Handyman"  wrote in message
news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>
>
>
> --
> Dave - The Medway Handyman
> www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
>
>

This is old stuff,women have always fell for blokes with big tools.

The Medway Handyman  wrote in message
news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>


 So is that you in the picture ?
I thought you were slightly larger and smellier..
i.e. the Nicotine aftershave.


-

Mark wrote:
> The Medway Handyman  wrote in
> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>
>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>
>
>
> So is that you in the picture ?
> I thought you were slightly larger and smellier..
> i.e. the Nicotine aftershave.

Yes its me, I'm the one on the left with the yellow top.

Nicotine aftershave is very attractive to 30% of the female population - its 
a niche market thing.

We've had this before of course, the first ads perpetrated by the rabid anti 
smoking fascists attempting to demonise smoking by trying to popularise the 
message that smokers smelt like an old ashtray.  This of course was pre the 
'passive smoking is instant death, it kills children & fluffy bunnies at 100 
yards' bollox they use now.



-- 
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"The Medway Handyman"  wrote in message 
news:Y7Ipk.43770$E41.34287@text.news.virginmedia.com...
> Mark wrote:
>> The Medway Handyman  wrote in
>> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>
>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>
>>
>>
>> So is that you in the picture ?
>> I thought you were slightly larger and smellier..
>> i.e. the Nicotine aftershave.
>
> Yes its me, I'm the one on the left with the yellow top.
>
> Nicotine aftershave is very attractive to 30% of the female population - 
> its a niche market thing.
>
> We've had this before of course, the first ads perpetrated by the rabid 
> anti smoking fascists attempting to demonise smoking by trying to 
> popularise the message that smokers smelt like an old ashtray.  This of 
> course was pre the 'passive smoking is instant death, it kills children & 
> fluffy bunnies at 100 yards' bollox they use now.
>
I smoked for 40 years and required a heart bypass, don't do it folks, you 
know it makes sense. I still smoke a few, how ridiculous is that? NEVER EVER 
START TO SMOKE.
Being one of 'the zipper club' 'aint funny.

"The Medway Handyman"  wrote in message 
news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>
> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>
>
>
> -- 
> Dave - The Medway Handyman

So start knobbing some customers then.

Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are 
crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.

Adam

ARWadworth coughed up some electrons that declared:

> 
> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in message
> news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>
>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
> 
> So start knobbing some customers then.

Didn't Dave do a job at a brothel once? :->>

> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are
> crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.

On the plus side, HMRC haven't worked out how to tax such payments in kind.

But if they do, it might make accountancy interesting...

ARWadworth wrote:
> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>
>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>
> So start knobbing some customers then.
>
> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who
> are crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.

Can't mate, I've given up sex for religious reasons...........

....... God made me ugly!



-- 
Dave - The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

ARWadworth wrote in
<4UTpk.43918$E41.924@text.news.virginmedia.com>

> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>
>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>
> So start knobbing some customers then.
>
> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who
> are crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.

Nicely done - wittiest thing I've read here in a long time. Point made
without recourse to unnecessary aggression.

-- 
PeterMcC
If you feel that any of the above is incorrect,
inappropriate or offensive in any way,
please ignore it and accept my apologies.

In message <48a80bbc$0$628$5a6aecb4@news.aaisp.net.uk>, Tim S 
 writes
>ARWadworth coughed up some electrons that declared:
>
>>
>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in message
>> news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>
>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>
>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>
>Didn't Dave do a job at a brothel once? :->>
>
>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are
>> crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>
>On the plus side, HMRC haven't worked out how to tax such payments in kind.
>
>But if they do, it might make accountancy interesting...

it could bring new meaning to "fuck the Inland Revenue"

-- 
geoff

"The Medway Handyman"  wrote in 
message news:HDVpk.43949$E41.28936@text.news.virginmedia.com...
<snip>
>
> Can't mate, I've given up sex for religious reasons...........
>
> ....... God made me ugly!
>

Nah, that was the pox which did that, you f*cked yourself up, don't go 
blaming God!...
-- 
Wikipedia: the Internet equivalent of
Hyde Park and 'speakers corner'...

"geoff"  wrote in message 
news:wc5kXYD7FDqIFwcC@ntlworld.com...
> In message <48a80bbc$0$628$5a6aecb4@news.aaisp.net.uk>, Tim S 
>  writes
>>ARWadworth coughed up some electrons that declared:
>>
>>>
>>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in 
>>> message
>>> news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>>
>>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>>
>>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>>
>>Didn't Dave do a job at a brothel once? :->>
>>
>>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are
>>> crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>>
>>On the plus side, HMRC haven't worked out how to tax such payments in 
>>kind.
>>
>>But if they do, it might make accountancy interesting...
>
> it could bring new meaning to "fuck the Inland Revenue"
>
> -- 
> geoff

I wonder if you can offset any gains against the wifes income?

Adam

geoff coughed up some electrons that declared:

> In message <48a80bbc$0$628$5a6aecb4@news.aaisp.net.uk>, Tim S
>  writes
>>ARWadworth coughed up some electrons that declared:
>>
>>>
>>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
>>> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>>
>>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>>
>>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>>
>>Didn't Dave do a job at a brothel once? :->>
>>
>>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are
>>> crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>>
>>On the plus side, HMRC haven't worked out how to tax such payments in
>>kind.
>>
>>But if they do, it might make accountancy interesting...
> 
> it could bring new meaning to "fuck the Inland Revenue"
> 

And asking the nice looking lady HMRC clerk how she intends to fulfil your
tax rebate

:_)

In message <48a85d59$0$627$5a6aecb4@news.aaisp.net.uk>, Tim S 
 writes
>geoff coughed up some electrons that declared:
>
>> In message <48a80bbc$0$628$5a6aecb4@news.aaisp.net.uk>, Tim S
>>  writes
>>>ARWadworth coughed up some electrons that declared:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
>>>> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>>>
>>>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>>>
>>>Didn't Dave do a job at a brothel once? :->>
>>>
>>>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who are
>>>> crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>>>
>>>On the plus side, HMRC haven't worked out how to tax such payments in
>>>kind.
>>>
>>>But if they do, it might make accountancy interesting...
>>
>> it could bring new meaning to "fuck the Inland Revenue"
>>
>
>And asking the nice looking lady HMRC clerk how she intends to fulfil your
>tax rebate
>
Drop yer knickers lass and prepare to receive my PAYE


-- 
geoff

"PeterMcC"  wrote in message 
news:g899if$bbi$1@energise.enta.net...
> ARWadworth wrote in
> <4UTpk.43918$E41.924@text.news.virginmedia.com>
>
>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
>> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>
>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>
>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>>
>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who
>> are crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>
> Nicely done - wittiest thing I've read here in a long time. Point made
> without recourse to unnecessary aggression.
>
> -- 
> PeterMcC

I have read and reread your post many times this afternoon. I really do not 
know what to make of it. My post was not meant to be witty.

First of all I was not trying to make a point. I was simply trying to give 
the TMH some sound advice based on my experience of knobbing customers.

Secondly I am really sorry I did not post earlier but I was in Filey from 
midday Saturday until midday Sunday with a customer I met on Wednesday.

Adam

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the
drugs began to take hold. I remember "ARWadworth"
 saying something like:

>I have read and reread your post many times this afternoon. I really do not 
>know what to make of it. My post was not meant to be witty.
>
>First of all I was not trying to make a point. I was simply trying to give 
>the TMH some sound advice based on my experience of knobbing customers.

Good man. Share the love.

>Secondly I am really sorry I did not post earlier but I was in Filey from 
>midday Saturday until midday Sunday with a customer I met on Wednesday.

Quick work, well done.
-- 
Dave
GS850x2 XS650 SE6a

"It's a moron working with power tools.
 How much more suspenseful can you get?"
 - House

ARWadworth wrote in
<%%_pk.44119$E41.33336@text.news.virginmedia.com>

> "PeterMcC"  wrote in message
> news:g899if$bbi$1@energise.enta.net...
>> ARWadworth wrote in
>> <4UTpk.43918$E41.924@text.news.virginmedia.com>
>> 
>>> "The Medway Handyman"  wrote in
>>> message news:gYxpk.43539$E41.20563@text.news.virginmedia.com...
>>>> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562209.ece
>>>> 
>>>> I'm finally a babe magnet...
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> --
>>>> Dave - The Medway Handyman
>>> 
>>> So start knobbing some customers then.
>>> 
>>> Married ones with husbands who are out at work in the office and who
>>> are crap at DIY are a good start. Single mothers are also easy prey.
>> 
>> Nicely done - wittiest thing I've read here in a long time. Point
>> made without recourse to unnecessary aggression.
>> 
 
> I have read and reread your post many times this afternoon. I really
> do not know what to make of it. My post was not meant to be witty.
> 

My misunderstanding, sorry.

-- 
PeterMcC
If you feel that any of the above is incorrect,
inappropriate or offensive in any way,
please ignore it and accept my apologies.

Thus spake ARWadworth (adamwadsworth@blueyonder.co.uk) unto the assembled multitudes:

>> Nicely done - wittiest thing I've read here in a long time. Point made
>> without recourse to unnecessary aggression.


> I have read and reread your post many times this afternoon. I really do not 
> know what to make of it. My post was not meant to be witty.

Perhaps a quick check of the word "irony" in a dictionary might help ;-)

-- 
                                 Andy Clews
                            University of Sussex
                 *** Remove DENTURES if replying by email ***

A.Clews@DENTURESsussex.ac.uk wrote in
<g8m8rq$p01$3@south.jnrs.ja.net>

> Thus spake ARWadworth (adamwadsworth@blueyonder.co.uk) unto the
> assembled multitudes:
>
>>> Nicely done - wittiest thing I've read here in a long time. Point
>>> made without recourse to unnecessary aggression.
>
>
>> I have read and reread your post many times this afternoon. I really
>> do not know what to make of it. My post was not meant to be witty.
>
> Perhaps a quick check of the word "irony" in a dictionary might help
> ;-)

I'm afraid that I made a genuine mistake - I thought the post to which I was
responding was an incisive piece of irony in itself. Shows what I know :(

-- 
PeterMcC
If you feel that any of the above is incorrect,
inappropriate or offensive in any way,
please ignore it and accept my apologies.