<JOKE ALERT BEFORE ANYONE OF A SENSITIVE NATURE FEELS HURT>

An interesting article in an online "newspaper" reports on that think tank 
who said the major northern cities should be evacuated. They also mention 
the perils of gourmet living oop north.
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/north-ghastly--200808141171/

EXTRACT:
THE north of England is just so horrid and ghastly, according to a new 
report by some people who work in central London. The Policy Exchange said 
the north is all covered in soot and fleas and there is nowhere you can buy 
fresh guinea fowl and organic basil.
[...]
The report recommends they all jolly well go to university, lose that 
dreadful accent and get themselves a proper job with a PR company in Covent 
Garden, or perhaps a think tank based near the House of Commons. They should 
also have a bath.
[...]
He added: "I met a northern chap once. Knew an awful lot about cricket but 
was in a terribly bad mood. Kept saying gin and tonic was for 'shirtlifters' 
and then turned his nose up at the olive bread. Do you see what I mean?"

ROTFL! (And I'm from oop north)