In 1965 I fell off the bed and cracked my skull on the hard floor.  I was at 
the baby sitter's house next door.  Later I was at home and had a dream.

I saw a rock that was getting bigger and bigger, and I was at one with the 
rock.  It grew into monstrous proportions.  Eventually it grew to the size 
of the universe... and I comprehended it.  I was 4 years old, and I 
comprehended a rock the size of the universe.  I opened my eyes and could 
still see the rock as I looked at the underside of the top bunk.

There's a compartment of my mind that is off limits to my conscious life, 
but sometimes in dreams I go into it.  It's a place of terror, but I can't 
recall any bad experiences in my life that might have cultivated it.  If 
they exist, they're probably suppressed.  When I was 3 I had to stay at the 
hospital since I was sick, and in some seizure-like dreams I can see a 
yellow linoleum floor.

The compartment opened into my conscious awareness in 1996 and I experienced 
its terror wide awake.  It was a feeling of dread and Apocalypse.  I 
believed it was the end of the world and it was all my fault.  My mind 
turned on me to believe this, which I did, and I suffered.  The 
psychological abscess was lanced and drained.  It's an old wound cured by 
another wound.

Father posed a threat that drew me closer to Mother.  When I had to stay at 
the hospital I threw a fit and it was a traumatic experience for me.  I had 
to spend the rest of my life overcoming it.

Jonathan  Giffen, Internet Loon and male prostitute, Jack the Ripper
clone, wrote:

> In 1965 I fell off the bed and cracked my skull on the hard floor. 


We know. It must have been a fall from a great height. Did your parents
throw you from an airplane? You certainly sound like it.


soc.religion.quaker removed as a courtesy.

mike


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