The Outsource Center for Nonviolence works to end violence in society by 
outsourcing violence to other mechanisms:

*We strive to honor soldiers who survive war by killing them nonviolently 
and using them for gross anatomy laboratories to teach medical school 
students anatomy. Their remains are pulverized into dog food.  These dogs 
are then given to the soldiers' families to comfort them.

*We strive for legislation to free convicted killers and mass murderers to 
employ their skills to lessen the planet's population and lessen stress on 
the world's limited resources.  We do this nonviolently.

*We promote freedom of information on plans for how to build nuclear bombs. 
Hopefully someday enough people will build them in their garages to blow up 
the planet and leave a habitat for endangered species like the Spotted Owl.

*We teach and promote programs on how to kill people nonviolently, without 
physical violence, but with psychological methods.  Then if you ever kill 
someone, how are they going to trace it back to you?

Classes at our Center start soon.  Sign up and learn for yourself!  Topics 
include, Love and Violence: violence as an integral part of a loving 
relationship.  Peace and Violence:  how violence can be provoked by 
peacemaking tactics.  Sex and Violence:  how disembowling your lover during 
sex can leave you with a warm feeling.  Civilization and Violence:  how 
violence toughens up people to become leaders in the great civilization of 
the future.

If you are interested, come join us!  Your membership fee includes a pine 
coffin made from trees watered by the blood of our conquests, all perfected 
nonviolently!