How many members of the Republican Party does it take to change a
light bulb?

Answer: TEN...

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb
needs to be changed,

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb,

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for
changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness,

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the
new light bulb,

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing
on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished",

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush
was literally "in the dark" the whole time,

8. One to viciously smear #7,

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how John McCain
has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along,

10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between
screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

And after all is said and done, no one will notice that they never
actually managed to change the light bulb.

-- 
Selected by Jim Griffith.  MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.

Read about The Internet Joke Book -- the best of RHF at
http://www.netfunny.com/inetjoke.html

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/08/Sep/replb.html
-- 
Dan.

Amusing, Dean-

But which part of UK did you not understand?

On Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:34:04 -0700 (PDT), Goldenwight
 wrote:

>Amusing, Dean-
>
>But which part of UK did you not understand?

Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."

There's a subtle difference that may have gone over your head.

I've always had a cosmopolitan taste in humour.  You can bury your
head exclusively in the sands of "Ey up, t' pies 'ave come" humour if
you want to.

Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing, and somewhat relevant
to the UK, seeing as UK politicians only ever seem to mindlessly
parrot whatever the Mighty Shrub says?
-- 
Dan.

On 13 Sep, 14:01, Dean Dark  wrote:
> On Sat, 13 Sep 2008 04:34:04 -0700 (PDT), Goldenwight
>
>  wrote:
> >Amusing, Dean-
>
> >But which part of UK did you not understand?
>
> Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."
>
> There's a subtle difference that may have gone over your head.
>
> I've always had a cosmopolitan taste in humour.  You can bury your
> head exclusively in the sands of "Ey up, t' pies 'ave come" humour if
> you want to.
>
> Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing, and somewhat relevant
> to the UK, seeing as UK politicians only ever seem to mindlessly
> parrot whatever the Mighty Shrub says?
> --
> Dan.

Well I thought it was damned funny.
BTW, It's eleven, not ten - you forgot the one to tell the world it's
a mission from God.

>>Amusing, Dean-
>>
>>But which part of UK did you not understand?
>
> Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."

http://www.usenet.org.uk/uk.rec.humour.html

<snip>
Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing, and somewhat relevant
> to the UK, seeing as UK politicians only ever seem to mindlessly
> parrot whatever the Mighty Shrub says?

Can't you read?

On Sat, 13 Sep 2008 14:16:52 +0100, "Trent SC"
<invalid@bogoff.invalid> wrote:

>>>Amusing, Dean-
>>>
>>>But which part of UK did you not understand?
>>
>> Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."
>
>http://www.usenet.org.uk/uk.rec.humour.html
>
><snip>
>Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing, and somewhat relevant
>> to the UK, seeing as UK politicians only ever seem to mindlessly
>> parrot whatever the Mighty Shrub says?
>
>Can't you read? 

Yes, I can read.  Can *you* read for comprehension?  Please tell me
how my post is at odds with:

"is for the discussion of humour and humorous subjects of, in, by,
about, with reference to, without prejudice or malice aforethought,
money back if not completely satisfied, er, the UK or of interest to
those in, on, around, up, left hand down a bit, wherever you are."

Was it not "of interest to those in, on, around, up, left hand down a
bit, wherever you are?"

Sheesh.  You're confusing this with uk.rec.uk.humour. which as far as
I know doesn't exist.
-- 
Dan.

Message-ID:  from Dean Dark
contained the following:

>Was it not "of interest to those in, on, around, up, left hand down a
>bit, wherever you are?"

I got pissed of listening to stuff about Merkin politics about two
months ago, so no it wasn't.

But perhaps we should let Adelaide have the last word?

Or we could make a few more jokes about Bristols, whatever.
-- 
black-dog
A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
http://www.slipperyhill.co.uk - Blue grass, blues, barn dance
http://4theweb.co.uk - Web design, development and hosting

On Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:38:01 +0100, black-dog 
wrote:

>I got pissed of listening to stuff about Merkin politics about two
>months ago, so no it wasn't
>
>Or we could make a few more jokes about Bristols, whatever.

Er... those two statements seem to conflict.  :-)
-- 
Dan.

On Sep 13, 3:45 pm, Dean Dark  wrote:
>
> >Or we could make a few more jokes about Bristols, whatever.
>
> Er... those two statements seem to conflict.  :-)


Good ol' Dan, only opens his mouth to change feet!

On Sat, 13 Sep 2008 08:11:46 -0700 (PDT), moghouse 
wrote:

>On Sep 13, 3:45 pm, Dean Dark  wrote:
>>
>> >Or we could make a few more jokes about Bristols, whatever.
>>
>> Er... those two statements seem to conflict.  :-)
>
>
>Good ol' Dan, only opens his mouth to change feet!

Is he talking about Bristol Cities viz-a-viz Bristol Rovers?
-- 

Martin

On Sep 13, 4:36 pm, Martin <m...@address.invalid> wrote:


> >Good ol' Dan, only opens his mouth to change feet!
>
> Is he talking about Bristol Cities viz-a-viz Bristol Rovers?

I fear he may be one of those foreign chappies who don't actually know
what they are talking about.

"moghouse"  wrote in message 
news:89993d63-3a43-49b1-956f-794e34b548ef@k7g2000hsd.googlegroups.com...
On Sep 13, 4:36 pm, Martin <m...@address.invalid> wrote:


> >Good ol' Dan, only opens his mouth to change feet!
>
>> Is he talking about Bristol Cities viz-a-viz Bristol Rovers?

>I fear he may be one of those foreign chappies who don't actually know
>what they are talking about.

That qualifies him for election to Congress, Diet, Knesset or any other 
foreign national legislature. Parliament requires the same qualification 
plus the ability to speak while sound asleep.

Leon

>>>>Amusing, Dean-
>>>>
>>>>But which part of UK did you not understand?
>>>
>>> Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."
>>
>>http://www.usenet.org.uk/uk.rec.humour.html
>>
>><snip>
>>Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing, and somewhat relevant
>>> to the UK, seeing as UK politicians only ever seem to mindlessly
>>> parrot whatever the Mighty Shrub says?
>>
>>Can't you read?
>
> Yes, I can read.  Can *you* read for comprehension?  Please tell me
> how my post is at odds with:
>
> "is for the discussion of humour and humorous subjects of, in, by,
> about, with reference to, without prejudice or malice aforethought,
> money back if not completely satisfied, er, the UK or of interest to
> those in, on, around, up, left hand down a bit, wherever you are."
>
> Was it not "of interest to those in, on, around, up, left hand down a
> bit, wherever you are?"
>
> Sheesh.  You're confusing this with uk.rec.uk.humour. which as far as
> I know doesn't exist.

Goldenwight wrote "Amusing, Dean"; you asked "Didn't you think it was at 
least mildly amusing, ...?".  The reference to the URL was separate.

On Sun, 14 Sep 2008 19:07:01 +0100, "Trent SC"
<invalid@bogoff.invalid> wrote:

>Goldenwight wrote "Amusing, Dean"; you asked "Didn't you think it was at 
>least mildly amusing, ...?".  The reference to the URL was separate.

Well, I'm sure that you know what you mean, but I'm damned if I do.
I'm honestly not sure if you're berating me or complimenting me.  And,
I *have* carefully read back through the relevant bits of the thread
in an effort to understand.  Care to give me some help?
-- 
Dan.

>>Goldenwight wrote "Amusing, Dean"; you asked "Didn't you think it was at
>>least mildly amusing, ...?".  The reference to the URL was separate.
>
> Well, I'm sure that you know what you mean, but I'm damned if I do.
> I'm honestly not sure if you're berating me or complimenting me.  And,
> I *have* carefully read back through the relevant bits of the thread
> in an effort to understand.  Care to give me some help?

<sigh>

>>Amusing, Dean-
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^  See that bit there?  Goldenwright is saying that your post 
is amusing.  Now, go to the end of this post ...

>>But which part of UK did you not understand?
>
> Unless I'm very much mistaken, the "UK" modifies "Rec," not "Humour."
>
> There's a subtle difference that may have gone over your head.
>
> I've always had a cosmopolitan taste in humour.  You can bury your
> head exclusively in the sands of "Ey up, t' pies 'ave come" humour if
> you want to.
>
> Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing...
   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  ... and yet here you ask him whether 
he thinks your post is amusing.  Which is why I asked you whether you could 
read.

On Mon, 15 Sep 2008 00:24:09 +0100, "Trent SC"
<invalid@bogoff.invalid> wrote:

><sigh>

Sigh all you like if it makes you feel better.

>> Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing...
>   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  ... and yet here you ask him whether 
>he thinks your post is amusing.  Which is why I asked you whether you could 
>read. 

I see.  Now.  I think.  But you didn't make it clear at all that you
were referring to  the "amusing" comment, and not this:

>>>But which part of UK did you not understand?

Hence my confusion.  It's becoming damned difficult to post a simple
bit of humour around here...
-- 
Dan.

>><sigh>
>
> Sigh all you like if it makes you feel better.
>
>>> Didn't you think it was at least mildly amusing...
>>   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  ... and yet here you ask him 
>> whether
>>he thinks your post is amusing.  Which is why I asked you whether you 
>>could
>>read.
>
> I see.  Now.  I think.  But you didn't make it clear at all that you
> were referring to  the "amusing" comment, and not this:
>
>>>>But which part of UK did you not understand?
>
> Hence my confusion.  It's becoming damned difficult to post a simple
> bit of humour around here...

Very true.  It becomes all too easy to pick holes in other's posts rather 
than to be originally amusing oneself.  At this point, if we were in a pub, 
I'd buy you a beer and we'd happily get on with our evenings!

Having said that, if you don't find the following link funny, you're 
probably dead.  it's a filming of the last I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue 
featuring Humph and was shown on BBC Four on Saturday night.  It's online 
for another week.  Pure genius.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00dmpd2/

black-dog wrote Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:38:01 +0100
> 
> Message-ID:  from Dean Dark
> contained the following:
> 
> >Was it not "of interest to those in, on, around, up, left hand down a
> >bit, wherever you are?"
> 
> I got pissed of listening to stuff about Merkin politics about two
> months ago, so no it wasn't.
> 
> But perhaps we should let Adelaide have the last word?

Apologies for the late response, bd, I've been busy -- but the ms
got submitted Monday afternoon and I'm slowly catching my breath: 
and up.

Why me?  Merkin politics bores me to tears and frustrates me with
its lack of sense or sensibility;  I follow it as little as I can. 
I didn't even know who Bristol Palin of the earlier thread is,
though I think I've deduced it now (she committed a social sin that
her Mother's prejudices won't let her reverse, right?).  I didn't
find Dan's original posting funny but I wasn't offended.  I did
think it was true;  though the truth may make you free, we don't
normally find it humorous!

Adelaide