After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started...

********

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that long?'

And then the fight started...

********

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one of them are you?' 

And then the fight started... 

********

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started...
-- 

Martin

"Martin" <me@address.invalid> wrote in message 
news:m8pb84lgbc63ka986e9tnogq14alfsn5d5@4ax.com...
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security

>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
>


>
> ********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.

> And then the fight started...
>
> ********
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. > And then the 
> fight started...
> -- 
>
> Martin


  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds 
lurking......................

>

On Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:15:07 +0100, "phylkat"  wrote:

>
>"Martin" <me@address.invalid> wrote in message 
>news:m8pb84lgbc63ka986e9tnogq14alfsn5d5@4ax.com...
>>
>> After retiring, I went to the Social Security
>
>>
>> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
>>
>
>
>>
>> ********
>>
>> I rear-ended a car this morning.
>
>> And then the fight started...
>>
>> ********
>>
>> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. > And then the 
>> fight started...
>> -- 
>>
>> Martin
>
>
>  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds 
>lurking......................

I'm sure you will post them here again with quote marks soon.
-- 

Martin

"Martin" <me@address.invalid> wrote in message 
news:m8pb84lgbc63ka986e9tnogq14alfsn5d5@4ax.com...
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
> verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
> home.
>
> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
> come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
>
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That 
> silver
> hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
> Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the 
> Social
> Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
> disability, too'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ********
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I 
> kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
> table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
> girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up 
> those
> many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
> that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.
> So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out 
> of
> his car.
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
> seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
>
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT 
> HAPPY!!!'
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one of them are you?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ********
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
> with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
> fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started...
> -- 
>
> Martin

Good stuff - thanks.

Phian
>

While the city slept,  phylkat feverishly typed:

>  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds
> lurking......................

LOL!

"Hello, Kettle? I have Pot on the line... he says you're black"

-- 
Nigel Moss | http://www.nigenet.org.uk
Email not valid. nigel@dog.nigenet.org.uk - take the dog out!
"You're mother ate my dog!", "Not all of him..."

>>
>>
>>  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds
>>lurking......................
>
> I'm sure you will post them here again with quote marks soon.
> -- 
>
> Martin

 Never use quote marks... no need to.   3 months the rules say when 
reposting, & I   always stick to the rules you know that darlin'.






>

On Jul 23, 3:09 am, "phylkat"  wrote:
> >>  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds
> >>lurking......................
>
> > I'm sure you will post them here again with quote marks soon.
> > --
>
> > Martin
>
>  Never use quote marks... no need to.   3 months the rules say when
> reposting, & I   always stick to the rules you know that darlin'.
>
>

Better rules than the PM.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/browndanglassPA_450x350.jpg

Duie

On Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:12:54 -0700 (PDT), duie  wrote:

>On Jul 23, 3:09 am, "phylkat"  wrote:
>> >>  ALL well worn old ones,  there may be a few 12 year olds
>> >>lurking......................
>>
>> > I'm sure you will post them here again with quote marks soon.
>> > --
>>
>> > Martin
>>
>>  Never use quote marks... no need to.   3 months the rules say when
>> reposting, & I   always stick to the rules you know that darlin'.
>>
>>
>
>Better rules than the PM.
>
>http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/browndanglassPA_450x350.jpg

Is that the tacky protester with a hand covered in super glue?
-- 

Martin