LOU COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM BUD ABBOTT





ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about 
buying a computer.



ABBOTT: Mac?



COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou..



ABBOTT: Your computer?



COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT: Mac?



COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.



ABBOTT: What about Windows?



COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?



ABBOTT: Wallpaper.



COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.



ABBOTT: Software for Windows?



COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write 
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Office.



COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT: I just did.



COSTELLO: You just did what?



ABBOTT: Recommend something.



COSTELLO: You recommended something?



ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: For my office?



ABBOTT: Yes.



COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?



ABBOTT: Office.



COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!



ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm 
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT: Word.



COSTELLO: What word?



ABBOTT: Word in Office.



COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.



COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some 
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can 
track my money with?



ABBOT T: Money.



COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.



COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT: Money.



COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT: One copy.



COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.



COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!



(A few days later)



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............






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Fact: 80% of the human body is water.
Or in my case, beer!