A young man arrives for a date with the farmer’s daughter with a very
bad case of gas. The father opens the door and tells the young man to
come in and take a seat, which happens to be next to the family dog
and across from his date. The father sits on the other side of the
room.

Conversation ensues and the young man feels one building up. Straining
for control, he nonetheless let’s one squeak out.

(dry audible) phhheert!!!

The father looks over at the family dog and yells: “Duke!”

The misdirected blame relaxes the young man enough to allow another,
more deadlier stinker out.

(moist audible) phhheerthphth!!!!

The father, more agitated, glares at the family dog and yells: “DUKE!”
The date blushes. The young man, relieved that he is not found out,
let’s go of the motherload.

(juicy audible) phhheeeerthphthertphert!!!!!!!

The father, enflamed, bellows to the dog: “DUKE! Get over here before
that boy shits on you!!!!”