I can't seem to find biltong locally.  

I don't like the mail order places, coz they're usually way, way 
overpriced.

So, to my eternal shame, I bought some beef jerky at the supermarket 
this evening.

I tried it.  It tasted like shit.

So I read the ingredients ... and frankly it's a horror-show:

Beef (yay!), water, sugar, salt, apple cider vinegar, black pepper, 
maltodextrin, garlic powder, onion powder, "flavour enhancer", 
hydrolised corn gluten protein, monosodium glutamate, citric acid, 
sodium tripolyphosphate, sodium erythorbate, sodium nitrate.

"No need to refrigerate. Once opened, eat same day": translation: 
"pumped full of fuckloads of nasties even microbes won't eat!  But we 
think you will!"

"Beef sourced from Argentina, Brazil, or Uruguay. Further processed in 
the US".

I had 2 pieces: 1 to taste <retch>, 1 to make sure I wasn't losing it 
... and this shit is legal.
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear 
 typed
>I can't seem to find biltong locally.

There's a butcher local to my office that keeps it, and it's good enough 
to make two Yarpies happy.

Want some posting?

-- 
Wicked Uncle Nigel - "He's hopeless, but he's honest"

My position was (and, to be honest, largely remains) one of complete ambiguity.

In article ,
 Bear  wrote:

> So, to my eternal shame, I bought some beef jerky at the supermarket 
> this evening.

Get a blog, you dull, tedious, dimwitted fucktard.

D.

-- 
des | 'what does it matter what he posts?'
http://www.jr.co.il/terror/israel/index.html
end the 'occupation': http://minilien.fr/a0k8xe
ukrm: 'where it's "cool" to be stupid!'

Bear wrote:


> So, to my eternal shame, I bought some beef jerky at the supermarket 
> this evening.

I like Jerky. Mind you, I get it sent to me (occasionally) by a mate
who knows where to get some really nice jerky. Some stuff is plain
shite. What brand was it, as a matter of interest?

-- 
Cab   :^)  - I'm from *lots* of different places
Z1000ABS : http://www.rosbif.org/ukrm (just for WUN)
UKRMMA#10 (KOTL), IbW#015, BoB#4, POTM#3, SKA#1
email addy : ukrm_dot_cab_at_rosbif_dot_org

In article , Cab says...
> Bear wrote:
> 
> 
> > So, to my eternal shame, I bought some beef jerky at the supermarket 
> > this evening.
> 
> I like Jerky. Mind you, I get it sent to me (occasionally) by a mate
> who knows where to get some really nice jerky. Some stuff is plain
> shite. What brand was it, as a matter of interest?

Oh FFS, you want me to sift through a fucking bin? You cunt!

Ok, I'll give it a bash ... it's got to be near the top since I only 
just tried to eat it ... hang on ...

<fx: ewwwww>

"Rocking JC" ... vile, vile stuff.  It's clearly too moist, and not 
preserved by humble air drying, but instead wants to pump the consumer 
full of enough chemicals to open a large scale art shop :(

Worst of all, it *tastes like shit*
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

In article , Wicked Uncle Nigel 
says...
> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear 
>  typed
> >In article , Wicked Uncle Nigel
> >says...
> >> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
> >>  typed
> >> >I can't seem to find biltong locally.
> >>
> >> There's a butcher local to my office that keeps it, and it's good enough
> >> to make two Yarpies happy.
> >>
> >> Want some posting?
> >
> >Thanks muchly sir, but I'd rather pop up and collect, if that's ok ...
> >
> >... I know this sounds weird, but I don't like eating food the RM have
> >touched, even, slightly.
> >
> >Email me the address and I'll even go get it myself :) [1]
> >
> >Or is your office nowhere near where you live?
> 
> Hoddesdon[1]. I can't help feeling there must be somewhere closer.

Well yeah, probably.

It would help if I knew where the fuck that was :)

Any seth efrican lurkers want to speak up as to best places in SW London 
to grab some quality biltong?  Please guys, I'm gagging here.
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

Bear wrote:

> Worst of all, it *tastes like shit*

How do you know?

-- 
Eiron.

On Sep 5, 12:05 am, Bear  wrote:
> In article , Wicked Uncle Nigel
> says...
>
>
>
> > Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
> >  typed
> > >In article , Wicked Uncle Nigel
> > >says...
> > >> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
> > >>  typed
> > >> >I can't seem to find biltong locally.
>
> > >> There's a butcher local to my office that keeps it, and it's good enough
> > >> to make two Yarpies happy.
>
> > >> Want some posting?
>
> > >Email me the address and I'll even go get it myself :) [1]
>
> > >Or is your office nowhere near where you live?
>
> > Hoddesdon[1]. I can't help feeling there must be somewhere closer.
>
> Well yeah, probably.
>
> It would help if I knew where the fuck that was :)
>
> Any seth efrican lurkers want to speak up as to best places in SW London
> to grab some quality biltong?  Please guys, I'm gagging here.

I know an ace place [1] in Frascati that does 'carne secca' [2] so
pretty much strips of dried meat with chilli.

I'm suspecting this isn't going to help your immediate need ;-)

Checking Salumeria in London pops up :

Salumeria Napoli, 69 Northcote Road, London - Delicatessen near
Clapham Junction Tube

Worth a try,

Cheers,

Paul.

[1] Salumeria [3]
[2] http://tinyurl.com/6f8t7t
[3] Sausage shop.

In article <a14049ee-8c6b-4967-bb51-
10e873d22d5a@l43g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>,  says...

> Checking Salumeria in London pops up :
> 
> Salumeria Napoli, 69 Northcote Road, London - Delicatessen near
> Clapham Junction Tube
> 
> Worth a try,

I'll give it a bash and report back, many thanks.

PS: where do you stand on the "wet" vs "dry" biltong debate?
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

On Sep 5, 12:39 am, Bear  wrote:
> In article <a14049ee-8c6b-4967-bb51-
> 10e873d22...@l43g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>,  says...
>
> > Checking Salumeria in London pops up :
>
> > Salumeria Napoli, 69 Northcote Road, London - Delicatessen near
> > Clapham Junction Tube
>
> > Worth a try,
>
> I'll give it a bash and report back, many thanks.
>
> PS: where do you stand on the "wet" vs "dry" biltong debate?

Wet is fucking minging, and is sweaty from the plastic packaging.

The stuff I know is dry as a bone, and takes several minutes chewing
before you get any meat flavour, but at least the chilli flakes keep
your tastebuds occupied in the interim.

Just ask for carne secca, if they know their spuds, they'll know what
you want and be able to get it in.

P.

Bear  wrote:
> 
> Any seth efrican lurkers want to speak up as to best places in SW London 
> to grab some quality biltong?  Please guys, I'm gagging here.

A few years ago before a local butcher stocked it I had withdrawal 
symptoms and phoned the SA embassy in London. The nice young lady
gave me a list of sources, all in London, some of which did mail
order. I picked one at random, ordered 1Kg biltong and 10kg Wors
for the freezer. Good stuff.

All of it is locally made BTW, there are some nasty regulations
about imported meat products because of the Foot&Mouth risks.

Give them a call, cultural relations is part of their job.

Bear wrote:

> > I like Jerky. Mind you, I get it sent to me (occasionally) by a mate
> > who knows where to get some really nice jerky. Some stuff is plain
> > shite. What brand was it, as a matter of interest?
> 
> Oh FFS, you want me to sift through a fucking bin? You cunt!

Heh

> "Rocking JC" ... vile, vile stuff.  It's clearly too moist, and not 
> preserved by humble air drying, but instead wants to pump the
> consumer full of enough chemicals to open a large scale art shop :(
>
> Worst of all, it *tastes like shit*

Not heard of that one. Sadly though, most industrial jerky is full of
chemical shite. One wonders how the cowboys of old survived without
their daily dose of sodium tripolyphosphate. Wasn't there the usual
sachet of silica gel? Sure you didn't eat that by mistake? :-)

You can get nice jerky, but it's a case of you need to know where, etc.
And you're unlikely to get it in the UK.

-- 
Cab   :^)  - I'm from *lots* of different places
Z1000ABS : http://www.rosbif.org/ukrm (just for WUN)
UKRMMA#10 (KOTL), IbW#015, BoB#4, POTM#3, SKA#1
email addy : ukrm_dot_cab_at_rosbif_dot_org

Eiron wrote:
> Bear wrote:
>
>> Worst of all, it *tastes like shit*
>
> How do you know?

You had to ask, didn't you? We can only hope he doesn't answer.

-- 
Si - XV535

"Bear"  wrote in message 
news:MPG.232a73daeb802fac98a22f@news.individual.de...
>I can't seem to find biltong locally.
>
> I don't like the mail order places, coz they're usually way, way
> overpriced.
>
> So, to my eternal shame, I bought some beef jerky at the supermarket
> this evening.
>
> I tried it.  It tasted like shit.
>
> So I read the ingredients ... and frankly it's a horror-show:
>
> Beef (yay!), water, sugar, salt, apple cider vinegar, black pepper,
> maltodextrin, garlic powder, onion powder, "flavour enhancer",
> hydrolised corn gluten protein, monosodium glutamate, citric acid,
> sodium tripolyphosphate, sodium erythorbate, sodium nitrate.
>
> "No need to refrigerate. Once opened, eat same day": translation:
> "pumped full of fuckloads of nasties even microbes won't eat!  But we
> think you will!"
>
> "Beef sourced from Argentina, Brazil, or Uruguay. Further processed in
> the US".
>
> I had 2 pieces: 1 to taste <retch>, 1 to make sure I wasn't losing it
> ... and this shit is legal.
> -- 
> Bear
> 2002 Yamaha R1
> Saab Aero Sport

If you are ever at Cadwel, call in to Mc Cleods (sp?) a posh food shop near 
the big church, they sell it.

Danny

> If you are ever at Cadwel, call in to Mc Cleods (sp?) a posh food shop 
> near
> the big church, they sell it.
> Danny

Should have said in Louth.

"Blott"  wrote in message 
news:cLOdnR3PhZX4Q13VnZ2dnUVZ8uadnZ2d@eclipse.net.uk...
>
>> If you are ever at Cadwel, call in to Mc Cleods (sp?) a posh food shop 
>> near
>> the big church, they sell it.
>> Danny
>
> Should have said in Louth.

I have tried biltong from Susman's in Newhaven and it compares well to the 
stuff I used as bush rations in Zambia

http://www.biltong.co.uk/biltonghistory.htm

--
Steve
Milk floats, stainless steel sinks...

In article <af25bf62-a165-4d0f-ad2b-0c273ec83dc7
@i76g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>,  says...
> On Sep 5, 12:39 am, Bear  wrote:
> > In article <a14049ee-8c6b-4967-bb51-
> > 10e873d22...@l43g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>,  says...
> >
> > > Checking Salumeria in London pops up :
> >
> > > Salumeria Napoli, 69 Northcote Road, London - Delicatessen near
> > > Clapham Junction Tube
> >
> > > Worth a try,
> >
> > I'll give it a bash and report back, many thanks.
> >
> > PS: where do you stand on the "wet" vs "dry" biltong debate?
> 
> Wet is fucking minging, and is sweaty from the plastic packaging.
> 
> The stuff I know is dry as a bone, and takes several minutes chewing
> before you get any meat flavour, but at least the chilli flakes keep
> your tastebuds occupied in the interim.

I love the dry stuff ... weirdly, I find it full of flavour, if it's any 
good ... there was a place in Slough market that did Zimbabwe/Seth 
Efrica foods - lovely it was, but now closed, and of course I don't work 
there anymore.

I tried the wet stuff from Susmans (mail order) and hated it; as you 
say, soggy and slimy, and doesn't keep worth a light either.

> Just ask for carne secca, if they know their spuds, they'll know what
> you want and be able to get it in.

Cool, many thanks ... Northcote Road is the other side of the common, so 
a bit of a hike, but it's a great place to shop (great for food shopping 
and has some cool nosheries) and it's handy for The Banana Leaf, which 
does a spiffy Lak-sa.  L (YoungBird) adores the place, so I may well 
have a little look this weekend.
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

In article , Cab says...

> Wasn't there the usual
> sachet of silica gel? 

There was indeed.

> Sure you didn't eat that by mistake? :-)

Yuk.  Positive - I had 2 bits, just to make sure I wasn't forming an 
opinion too fast, then lobbed the rest.

> You can get nice jerky, but it's a case of you need to know where, etc.
> And you're unlikely to get it in the UK.

Yeah we used to get some smashing stuff in a *tiny* town called Lookout, 
NE Ca., near my dad's farm.  Local company, in old-style brown paper 
type packaging.  Nice, but not a patch on good biltong.
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

In article , Blott 
says...
> 
> > If you are ever at Cadwel, call in to Mc Cleods (sp?) a posh food shop 
> > near
> > the big church, they sell it.
> > Danny
> 
> Should have said in Louth. 

Interesting reason for visiting Cadwell :)

I detest the drive to Cadwell - that last 20 miles or so from the south 
it's nothing but hidden cameras and shit road surface, or was the last 
time I went a couple of years back (to watch AntonyE race).
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

In article ,  says...
> 
> "Blott"  wrote in message 
> news:cLOdnR3PhZX4Q13VnZ2dnUVZ8uadnZ2d@eclipse.net.uk...
> >
> >> If you are ever at Cadwel, call in to Mc Cleods (sp?) a posh food shop 
> >> near
> >> the big church, they sell it.
> >> Danny
> >
> > Should have said in Louth.
> 
> I have tried biltong from Susman's in Newhaven and it compares well to the 
> stuff I used as bush rations in Zambia

Really?  I couldn't stand the stuff.

> --
> Steve
> Milk floats, stainless steel sinks... 

A working sig-sep would be nice.
-- 
Bear
2002 Yamaha R1
Saab Aero Sport

On 4 Sep, 23:42, Wicked Uncle Nigel 
wrote:
> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
>  typed
>
> >I can't seem to find biltong locally.
>
> There's a butcher local to my office that keeps it, and it's good enough
> to make two Yarpies happy.
>
> Want some posting?
>
There's another place down Roehampton way (just a few hundred yards
from The Priory: cure one addiction, give them another?) which I keep
meaning to try.

On Sep 4, 11:52 pm, Wicked Uncle Nigel 
wrote:
> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
>  typed
>
>
>
> >In article , Wicked Uncle Nigel
> >says...
> >> Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Bear
> >>  typed
> >> >I can't seem to find biltong locally.
>
> >> There's a butcher local to my office that keeps it, and it's good enough
> >> to make two Yarpies happy.
>
> >> Want some posting?
>
> >Thanks muchly sir, but I'd rather pop up and collect, if that's ok ...
>
> >... I know this sounds weird, but I don't like eating food the RM have
> >touched, even, slightly.
>
> >Email me the address and I'll even go get it myself :) [1]
>
> >Or is your office nowhere near where you live?
>
> Hoddesdon[1]. I can't help feeling there must be somewhere closer.
>
Blimey where in Hoddesdon? That's 5 mins away.

Wicked Uncle Nigel spoke:
> Hoddesdon[1]. I can't help feeling there must be somewhere closer.
> 
> [1] A really odd town. In Herts, but it has a definite "Northern" vibe 
> going on. If you parachuted me in and told me I was halfway between 
> Batley and Dewsbury, I'd believe you.

Worrat'tonabaht, tha great lummuk! thas norra mill orra chimni in saat!

-- 
Rob_P
UKRM(at)indqualtec.co.uk
uppercase(d)  BBIWYMC#1  BOG#11?  MRO#31  IBCDBBB#1(kotl)
FJ1200,  CCM130    Benelli Cabiolet
Easily confused.