Thanks for the loan of a proper hemisphere for a couple of months. I'm 
off back to my wild, uncultured and uninhabited one tomorrow. I just hope 
Martin kept the porch tidy.

Things I learned....

1. French people are good drivers shock.
2. French people are polite and helpful shock.
3. Italian drivers are fucking mental, especially those in charge of 
trucks.
4. Young women in the Mediterranean countries are fucking hot in 
disproportionate numbers.
5. Driving 9000 km's in 7 weeks is fucking tiring.
6. A decent cup for Joe doesn't appear to exist in South Western Europe. 
And Mrs Ruddock has tried every shop.
7. Everyone in UKSF is a cunt. 

Right, off to see Sid in Sinapore next.

-- 
Cheers, Os

Osbourne Ruddock wrote:
> Thanks for the loan of a proper hemisphere for a couple of months. I'm 
> off back to my wild, uncultured and uninhabited one tomorrow. I just hope 
> Martin kept the porch tidy.
> 
Too right I did. I sluiced it down with a few million hectolitres of 
rainwater every few days. And by days I mean hours, obviously. As long 
as you installed the flood defences before you left you should be fine.

It's as cold as Ben's heart down here at the minute tho, so you might 
want to delay your arrival for a month or two.

> Things I learned....
> 
> 1. French people are good drivers shock.
FFS, this is in the "GreedyG is a proper poster" type shock category 
i.e. plainly bollocks

> 2. French people are polite and helpful shock.
How much absinthe had you consumed at this point?

> 3. Italian drivers are fucking mental, especially those in charge of 
> trucks.
AWTWP

> 4. Young women in the Mediterranean countries are fucking hot in 
> disproportionate numbers.
I hope you stuffed a couple into your suitcase. There's  good lad.

> 5. Driving 9000 km's in 7 weeks is fucking tiring.
As is putting apostrophes where they don't be'long.

> 6. A decent cup for Joe doesn't appear to exist in South Western Europe. 
> And Mrs Ruddock has tried every shop.
Each of us has to have one thing we can never have. A decent cup, a 
loving relationship, the ability to drink more than half a pint of 
shandy.....

> 7. Everyone in UKSF is a cunt. 
Like you needed to go all the way to the upside-down hemisphere to 
discover that.

> Right, off to see Sid in Sinapore next.
Oh, didn't you get the message - he's just left to go to the UK.

Get back down here you daft cunt, we've missed ya.

M
-- 
Martin:  Poster, large, helpful, SBL administrator.  Beer Baron and
spreadshit maestro.  Last remaining Huddersfield fan on the planet.

"Osbourne Ruddock"  wrote in message 
news:Xns9AD7E28F6F12Cstrikeboyhotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
> 6. A decent cup for Joe doesn't appear to exist in South Western Europe.
> And Mrs Ruddock has tried every shop.

Thank-you so much, and thanks to Mrs Ruddock for trying.  Not just because 
you attempted to help, but because you have confirmed what I had been 
suspecting for a long time.  There is a serious anti-Joe mugspiracy in 
operation across the whole of the Northern hemisphere, and I should wonder 
if it hasn't spread to downunderland by the time you get back.

This is my longest mug-drought ever, by a ridiculous distance.  It's been 
years now, and up until 2005 it was only ever a matter of a couple of weeks, 
every time.  And I been through a fair few mugs, maybe one every two years 
on average.

My criteria are not that fucking strict, ffs.  Particular, maybe, but never 
so much as to be a problem before, before the great mug-drought of 2005, 
which is still going on.  Everywhere you go, beautifully decorated mugs in 
rubbishcunt small sizes and piss-poor shapes, and horrifically ugly mugs in 
shite colours but which are the perfect shape and size.  Coincidence?  I 
very much doubt it.  Not in every shop, everywhere, for three cuntingly 
painful, drinking-teh-pain years.  It's just unfathomable.

I am seriously pissed off with the whole mug scene these days.  It's 
completely monged.

> 7. Everyone in UKSF is a cunt.

AWTWP, although I do give some dispensation to anyone who had a go at the 
prestigious 'Find Joe A Mug' competition.  All the rest are unbelievable 
cunts though.  Probably the same cunts, I shouldn't wonder, who never 
introduced Ben to any single girls.

Cunts.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:uezdk.185821$P83.58878@newsfe20.ams2...
>
>
> My criteria are not that fucking strict, ffs.  Particular, maybe, but 
> never so much as to be a problem before, before the great mug-drought of 
> 2005, which is still going on.  Everywhere you go, beautifully decorated 
> mugs in rubbishcunt small sizes and piss-poor shapes, and horrifically 
> ugly mugs in shite colours but which are the perfect shape and size. 
> Coincidence?  I very much doubt it.  Not in every shop, everywhere, for 
> three cuntingly painful, drinking-teh-pain years.  It's just unfathomable.


I was going to keep this a surprise, but you might as well know now, in case 
it doesn't happen.

The girl who doesn't want to be Mrs Ben has a best friend who is a potter 
who makes mugs and plates'n'shit professionally. I've eaten and drunk off 
them and they are teh good.

She recently offered to make me some stuff, and I passed on your mug 
criteria, although it probably wasn't the top priority on her mind because 
she was getting married and going on a honeymoon'n'shit...

Anyway, I'm not quite sure where that situation is now. The last thing she 
said to me was along the lines of 'I hope you two can still be 
friends!111one111ijustgotmarriedsofuckyou111111'.

If it doesn't seem too cheeky, I'll remind her about the mug some time.

BTN

Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:

> 
> I was going to keep this a surprise, but you might as well know now, in 
> case it doesn't happen.
> 
> The girl who doesn't want to be Mrs Ben has a best friend who is a 
> potter

Wow, perhaps we could do a foursoem one day


> who makes mugs and plates'n'shit professionally. I've eaten and 
> drunk off them and they are teh good.

Oh, that sort of potter.

> She recently offered to make me some stuff, and I passed on your mug 
> criteria, although it probably wasn't the top priority on her mind 
> because she was getting married and going on a honeymoon'n'shit...
> 
> Anyway, I'm not quite sure where that situation is now. The last thing 
> she said to me was along the lines of 'I hope you two can still be 
> friends!111one111ijustgotmarriedsofuckyou111111'.
> 
> If it doesn't seem too cheeky, I'll remind her about the mug some time.

Hey, you could be her pimp, in a potterish sort of way.

I'd be interested in a quote for a half-pint mug, plain white (if that's 
too boring, she can write www.hireahitmantokillapolitician.org on the 
side), straight sides, extremely well glazed because the inside is going 
to take a lot of punishment, and a man-sized handle.

Evil Nigel

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:6dosouF3kb14U1@mid.individual.net...
> I was going to keep this a surprise, but you might as well know now, in 
> case it doesn't happen.

Yes, it'll be good to know about it if it doesn't happen.

> She recently offered to make me some stuff, and I passed on your mug 
> criteria, although it probably wasn't the top priority on her mind because 
> she was getting married and going on a honeymoon'n'shit...

Oh, that's nice.  Having a mug specially commissioned might well be the way 
forward.

> If it doesn't seem too cheeky, I'll remind her about the mug some time.

I thank you muchly.

On Jul 11, 11:06 am, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:


> I am seriously pissed off with the whole mug scene these days.  It's
> completely monged.

Have you considered taking up pottery? Not up your arses, though that
might work if you were named Ben.
(Disregard: just saw BTN's post). Actually, undisregard.

> > 7. Everyone in UKSF is a cunt.
> AWTWP, although I do give some dispensation to anyone who had a go at the
> prestigious 'Find Joe A Mug' competition.  All the rest are unbelievable
> cunts though.  Probably the same cunts, I shouldn't wonder, who never
> introduced Ben to any single girls.

I looked for a mug for you in four continents but didn't introduce Ben
to any girls. Which category do I fall in?

Sid

"Sid"  wrote in message 
news:732c96b7-42c4-4ed0-bcad-f2b9e0f95b5b@c58g2000hsc.googlegroups.com...
> On Jul 11, 11:06 am, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
> wrote:
>> AWTWP, although I do give some dispensation to anyone who had a go at the
>> prestigious 'Find Joe A Mug' competition.  All the rest are unbelievable
>> cunts though.  Probably the same cunts, I shouldn't wonder, who never
>> introduced Ben to any single girls.
>
> I looked for a mug for you in four continents but didn't introduce Ben
> to any girls. Which category do I fall in?

Not A Cunt, clearly.  You tried to find me a mug, although I'm disappointed 
you never entered the competition, more entries might have helped others to 
get involved, created a clearly mug profile.  But to be fair, you probably 
don't know any single girls so there wasn't much you could do about the 
other thing.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan