Re: A new approach
"Sir Benjamin Nunn" wrote in message
news:6c22mbF3efa1rU1@mid.individual.net...
> http://www.gumtree.com/london/77/25247877.html
You know, I actually think this is quite brilliant, pretty much puts your
point across in a totally positive, and rather inspired, light. It's
honest, eloquent, and beautifully written, but most importantly, it doesn't
sound bitter, negative, overly cynical, resentful or envious or any of the
other things that I think drive women away from you. It's needy, clearly,
but there are other needy people out there and they long to be made to feel
safe and secure, and that's something you do promise with evident sincerity
and conviction. I was pretty much sold myself, and I give it 6.9/9
Here's where you lost marks, for whatever my opinion on such matters is
worth to you:
1) The sentence "I'm constantly astonished how some people specify hair/eye
colour etc. - surely that's too restrictive". That's better reserved for a
conversation on the subject over dinner with a new acquaintance and
potential love-match than as a snippet of your profile, to me it comes
across a little as straying into the realms of the jealousy and bitterness I
mentioned earlier, it hints at it. Also suggests you might be harder to
please yourself than you really are, if you're that open to meeting
_anybody_
who's prepared to take a chance on you and can offer you what you most
desire
in the world, then you don't want any poor girl who perhaps fits the bill
but just isn't quite as intelligent as you, which is probably nearly all of
them, thinking 'oh god I might be judged harshly for not considering some
things carefully enough'. There might be some girl who prefers 'larger'
men, for instance, who suddenly feels bad about that and afraid to contact
you.
2) Much more importantly, why oh why are you specifying 'please have decent
English'? Like, as if, it'll be impossible for them to communicate with you
if they're not fantastically articulate like you are in this one language.
Oh man, are you ruling so many potentially fantastic women out that way.
Aside from the fact that someone utterly lovely, free-thinking and
imaginative, not to mention sexually open-minded and adventurous, loyal,
caring, intelligent and altogether beautiful could be brought up in this
very country with a slightly rubbishcunt education and have subsequently
slightly rubbishcunt English, there's the matter of a huge proportion of
this country's population, and more than anywhere else London's population,
being immigrants. Many first-generation, and many still with pretty poor
English. Seriously, you do not want to rule these people out.
For example, in my job, I come into contact with people from all over the
world. In seven years we're employed staff of 33 nationalities from five
continents. Communication, obviously, is a massive part of bar and
restaurant work, and the service industry in general, and speaking the
native
tongue fluently is a plus, but so is being energetic, focused, reliable,
personable, punctual, confident, organised, even charismatic, etc etc etc.
So you weigh up the pros'n'cons of each individual at the second stage of
recruitment, and sometimes take a risk on one box not being ticked on the
basis of big fat ticks in some others.
Many of our staff over the years really have learnt English 'on the job' as
it were, if they're strong minded enough to get past the initial
frustrations and ignorance of latently xenophobic customers who can't
appreciate what a good job this person it doing in every other respect, they
can sometimes go on to be some of the greatest staff ever. More than
anything, though, I've met and got to know some of the most wonderful people
I can imagine through my job and this rather open employment policy, and now
count Poles, Spaniards, an Argie, a Czech, an Ethiopian, and all sorts of
other Johnny Foreigner types almost my very favourite people ever. Also
have
kinky Ukrainian fuck-friends but you know all about those. In all cases,
communication was exceedingly difficult at first, but it's a temporary
hurdle and one you get over eventually with effort and goodwill, and usually
a great deal of linguistic skill on the part of Johnny Foreigner who now
speaks at least two languages like a pro.
Worst case scenario, you'll pick up a bit of their language as well and can
use that to great advantage, and I mean _really_ fucking great advantage,
next time you meet a chick from that country. You'd be amazed how far a
simple hola or jak sie masz goes with someone who hasn't heard a word of
their native language all day and is feeling a little homesick. Being a
foreigner in any country where you don't speak much of the language is, by
all accounts, hard work, if you live there full time it can probably get a
little depressing and lonely at times. That doesn't mean they're not
wonderful people who would make an excellent companion for a Ben Nunn. But
it does mean that your profile on that thingy is just about the last thing
they'll need to read right now. It'll be a bit of a kick in the teeth if
they'd liked the rest of it.
For the love of god, don't exclude these people. There's, like, ten million
women in the London area or something. You can't seriously believe that all
the great ones already speak good English. Besides which, there are so many
different forms of communication. The sexiest and loveliest intelligent
single woman in
the entire world, ever, with a fantastic and dark sense of humour, strong
moral values and an imaginative, enquiring mind, could be deaf and speak
English a bit like a mingmong. Ffs.
Keep it open, meet more people. You have time and money to burn on dead
ends, what you don't have is a match. Really, that's pretty much all you
don't have but it's clearly terribly important to you so I'd be maximising
the odds wherever possible if I were you.
Oh, and lastly, put yourself about a bit more. Sign up to all sorts of
adult dating sites and whatnot with the same profile, you can afford a few
subscription fees here and there. In for a penny, in for a pound as they
say. No real value in doing things by halves, only half value. How many
single, very intelligent, open-minded, non physical-preferencing, very good
English speaking, yet slightly desperate women who regularly check gumtree
for potential dates do you suppose there are in the London area?
--
Joe
"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan
date: Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:38:19 -0000
author: Joe Horowitz hey
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Re: A new approach
"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
news:DQZ6k.17902$7m7.2153@newsfe30.ams2...
>
> You know, I actually think this is quite brilliant, pretty much puts your
> point across in a totally positive, and rather inspired, light. It's
> honest, eloquent, and beautifully written, but most importantly, it
> doesn't
> sound bitter, negative, overly cynical, resentful or envious or any of the
> other things that I think drive women away from you. It's needy, clearly,
> but there are other needy people out there and they long to be made to
> feel
> safe and secure, and that's something you do promise with evident
> sincerity
> and conviction. I was pretty much sold myself, and I give it 6.9/9
Hmm... they've deleted my actual ad, haven't they?
BTN
date: Sat, 21 Jun 2008 11:50:32 +0100
author: Sir Benjamin Nunn
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