****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****


So that's that, then.  And what an exciting final week it was, with many a
twist and turn in the plot as the goals flew in like so many balls smashing
against the chins of all our SBL challenges.  And one man did come out on
top, as one man inevitably must, and that man was none other than Sir
Benjamin T. Nunn, who fittingly takes the trophy up his victorious arses
with the season's sexiest betcunt.

I can't do much for you all in the way of seasonal stats, though, because as
mentioned before I only originally set the spreadshit up for 39 weeks, and
it was only when I tried to tie the new 'week 40' page in with all of that
the other night I realised just how much work would be involved, and the
level of concentration required, to tie all the relevant cells in with each
other in all their cross-referency goodness.  Who knows, I may still get it
done, I may not, but what's most important right now is that we acknowledge
the rightful winner.  However, the rightful winner is of course impossible
to determine unless we go back in time a few weeks and allow Ben to spunk
100 youks away on Coventry and then replay the following three weeks of
betcunting from there,  but we can at least determine the actual winner in a
kind of results-based sort of way.  And that, ironically, was Ben.  No doubt
he still feels cheated in some way but I for one am happy with the way
things went.

So congratulations to him, for he is teh Champion of the Saturday Betcunts
League 07/08.  His final tally of 892 Youks is not to be sniffed at, and his
overall profit for the season is something like 370 Youks.  Really, he
should have been placing these bets for real all along, and then he could
buy us all a pint.  The cunt.  Vicky deserves a mention for finishing in a
very respectable 2nd place at the end of a long and hard-fought campaign,
while Poleson takes a god-like bronze medal away with him.

Well played, Ben.  And thanks to all the rest of you fuckers for taking part
once more.  It's been great, hasn't it?  I think so.

====================================

Jason Round match results:

      Birmingham City v Blackburn Rovers  (15:00BST)     4-1
      Chelsea v Bolton Wanderers  (15:00BST)     1-1
      Derby County v Reading  (15:00BST)     0-4
      Everton v Newcastle United  (15:00BST)     3-1
      Middlesbrough v Manchester City  (15:00BST)     8-1
      Portsmouth v Fulham  (15:00BST)     0-1
      Sunderland v Arsenal  (15:00BST)     0-1
      Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     0-2
      West Ham v Aston Villa  (15:00BST)     2-2
      Wigan Athletic v Manchester United  (15:00BST)     0-2
------------------------------------------------------------- 

Jason Round betcunt results:

*Sid (41) 41 on Chelsea v Bolton DRAW   @ 9.2 pft.336  = 377
*Ben (241) 241 on West Ham v Aston Villa DRAW   @ 3.7 pft.651  = 892
 Gra (251) 125 on Birmingham v Blackburn AWAY   @ 4.1 pft.-125  = 126
 TonyMac (5) 5 on Chelsea v Bolton AWAY   @ 22 pft.-5  = 0
*Joe (393) 383 on Wigan v Man Utd AWAY   @ 1.27 pft.103  = 496
*Nigel (5) 5 on Chelsea v Bolton DRAW   @ 9.2 pft.41  = 46
 Cornelius (105) 50 on Everton v Newcastle AWAY   @ 4.8 pft.-50  = 55
 Bobby (5) 5 on Birmingham v Blackburn AWAY   @ 4.1 pft.-5  = 0
 Osbourne (50) 50 on Wigan v Man Utd DRAW   @ 6.5 pft.-50  = 0
 Mikey (279) 279 on Chelsea v Bolton HOME   @ 1.17 pft.-279  = 0
 Vicky (398) 3 on Derby v Reading DRAW   @ 4.4 pft.-3  = 395
 Kevin (55) 55 on Chelsea v Bolton AWAY   @ 22 pft.-55  = 0
 Chopsy (64) 55 on Derby v Reading HOME   @ 6.55 pft.-55  = 9
 Poleson (375) 75 on Portsmouth v Fulham HOME   @ 3.65 pft.-75  = 300
 Goalie (236) 236 on Derby v Reading HOME   @ 6.55 pft.-236  = 0
 Demo (1) 1 on Chelsea v Bolton AWAY   @ 22 pft.-1  = 0
 Martin (5) 5 on Chelsea v Bolton AWAY   @ 22 pft.-5  = 0
-------------------------------------------------------------

Shirley Round betcunt results

 Sid (377) 377 on Wigan v Man Utd DRAW   @ 6.5 pft.  = 0
 Joe (496) 496 on Chelsea v Bolton HOME   @ 1.17 pft.-46 = 0
 Nigel (46) 46 on Wigan v Man Utd HOME   @ 15.5 pft.-55 = 0
 Cornelius (55) 55 on Wigan v Man Utd DRAW   @ 6.5 pft.  = 0
 Vicky (395) 2 on Wigan v Man Utd DRAW   @ 6.5 pft.  = 393
===========================================

Balances:

      Ben           892
      Vicky           393
      Poleson           300
      Gra           126
      Chopsy           9
      Sid           0
      TonyMac           0
      Joe           0
      Nigel           0
      Cornelius           0
      Bobby           0
      Osbourne           0
      Mikey           0
      Kevin           0
      Goalie           0
      Demo           0
      Martin           0
==============

Stats:

      Opening froup balance:           2470
      Betcunts placed:           22
      Won Bets:              4
      Lost Bets:              18
      Righteous Like Poleson:        0
      Froup Profit for this week:        -789
      Average odds:          8.61
      % of froup balance staked:        105%
      Froup balls bigness:        9.0
      Income:                              70
      Income so far:          3395
      Closing Froup Balance:        1681
      Froup profit so far:          -1714
 ========================

####  fanfare!11  ####

And so, to present the trophy.  I like this bit.

      ____          ____
      \\@ \        //  /
       \\@ \      //  /
        \\@ \    //  /
         \\@ \  //  /
          \\@ \//  /
           \\@    /
            \\@  /
             ||@ |
             ||@ |
             ||@ |
             ||@ |
             ||@ |
           //HHHHH\
          //OOOOOOO\
         //HHHHHHHHH\
________//YYYYYYYYYYY\________
==============================
|  Saturday Betcunts League  |
|                            |
|[05/06]  Mikey Cunningham   |
|[06/07]  Kevin Conlan       |
|[07/08]  Ben Nunn           |
\____________________________/


-- 
HoHY

 "VIVA Las BETCUNTS!!!1one!1!!overandout!!1!1!" - Elvis Presley

http://uksf.org.uk/betcunt/

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:hEfXj.34767$66.31347@newsfe20.ams2...
>
> kind of results-based sort of way.  And that, ironically, was Ben.  No 
> doubt
> he still feels cheated in some way but I for one am happy with the way
> things went.


AWTWP.

I'll feel cheated if I don't get sent prizes by all the other betcunters as 
per the original arrangement, obviously.

BTN

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:695f9sF31l70qU1@mid.individual.net...
> AWTWP.
>
> I'll feel cheated if I don't get sent prizes by all the other betcunters 
> as per the original arrangement, obviously.

Heh.  There would indeed be a delightful circularity to it all if I finally 
got round to sending out the tri-glansed SBL trophy this year.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

According to :
>I'll feel cheated if I don't get sent prizes by all the other betcunters as 
>per the original arrangement, obviously.

Do you think you'll get more prizes than last year's winner?

--

> Balances:
> 
>       Ben           892

Good things come in threes, so what are Ben's Euromillions numbers for 
tonight so I can share the jackpot.

Knowing Ben's cold-hearted exacting calculations, who might have 
finished on 888 youks had their betcunt been successful?

"Vicky Conlan"  wrote in message 
news:g0khqt$109a$1@magenta.plig.net...
> According to :
>>I'll feel cheated if I don't get sent prizes by all the other betcunters 
>>as
>>per the original arrangement, obviously.
>
> Do you think you'll get more prizes than last year's winner?


Well, I got Mikey a prize when he won it, and I got Daddy a prize when he 
won it. I thought that was the rules.

I guess it might have been naive of me to assume that all the other 
contestants have been doing similar?

But I'm nonetheless cautiously optimistic that the likes of Roo, Cornelius, 
Bobby Internet (if that is his real name), *the general* and JStars will be 
sending me prizes this week.

BTN

According to :
>Well, I got Mikey a prize when he won it, and I got Daddy a prize when he 
>won it. I thought that was the rules.
>
>I guess it might have been naive of me to assume that all the other 
>contestants have been doing similar?

I also sent a prize to both Mikey and daddy.  I think we were the only ones.

>But I'm nonetheless cautiously optimistic that the likes of Roo, Cornelius, 
>Bobby Internet (if that is his real name), *the general* and JStars will be 
>sending me prizes this week.

Good for them.  I shall be sending you a huge bar of Dairy Milk, obviously.
And a bottle of Bud.

--

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message
news:695f9sF31l70qU1@mid.individual.net...
> I'll feel cheated if I don't get sent prizes by all the other betcunters as per the
> original arrangement, obviously.

Would you consider it a nice present if some Youksef Facebookers
introduced you to one of their single female FB friends?

I think that'd be a fitting gesture.


-- 
Mike

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
news:hEfXj.34767$66.31347@newsfe20.ams2...
>  And one man did come out on
> top, as one man inevitably must, and that man was none other than Sir
> Benjamin T. Nunn, who fittingly takes the trophy up his victorious arses
> with the season's sexiest betcunt.

Many congrats to the great man.  I was celebrating my second SBL
title until the 88th minute on Sunday before Dean Ashton and Matt
Taylor got to work.

I think it's a much deserved win as Ben did, for all intents and purposes,
tell me how to win the first SBL.  I always appreciated that.

I shall be sending a present as soon as I think of one.


-- 
Mike

"Michael Cunningham"  wrote in message 
news:g0mvod$8qi$3@aioe.org...
> "Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
> news:hEfXj.34767$66.31347@newsfe20.ams2...
>>  And one man did come out on
>> top, as one man inevitably must, and that man was none other than Sir
>> Benjamin T. Nunn, who fittingly takes the trophy up his victorious arses
>> with the season's sexiest betcunt.
>
> Many congrats to the great man.  I was celebrating my second SBL
> title until the 88th minute on Sunday before Dean Ashton and Matt
> Taylor got to work.


Taylor's goal was barely relevant to me - it just meant that you and Joe 
finished with 0 youks rather than taking second and third place, and made my 
eventual lead look flatteringly vast.


> I think it's a much deserved win as Ben did, for all intents and purposes,
> tell me how to win the first SBL.  I always appreciated that.
>
> I shall be sending a present as soon as I think of one.


You've already done more than most Youksefers in the benpresentery stakes, 
tbh.

BTN

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:69agueF30i5n0U1@mid.individual.net...
> You've already done more than most Youksefers in the benpresentery stakes, 
> tbh.

So have I, IIRC.

I sent you a CD once that you didn't completely hate, in many ways that's 
better than a girlfriend that everyone thinks you have.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan