Yet again our over zealous police and judiciary system have bungled big 
time and tried to apply "normal" law to our footballing elite, finding 
journey man footballing pro Steve Claridge guilty of dangerous driving 
whilst in possession of an inadequate bladder ; 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/7396901.stm

Steve Claridge was deeply in need of a piss, and instead of nipping in 
to Maccy D like the rest of us do, he took the footballers' option of 
simply putting his foot down in atrocious weather conditions, under 
cutting the plebs, and attempting to rush home to his fancy footballers' 
bog to piss in the privacy and comfort of his fancy footballers' bog.

The bad news for Claridge is that the BBC have indeed reviewed his 
position with them as "expert summariser and perennial bore", and he his 
now highly touted for the Director General's post as long as he can keep 
up this pace.

-- 
rat   n.
A lady's bodily treasure. The fanny. 'Excreta was powerless to resist. 
His eyes burned into hers like sequins. His strong arms enfolded her 
tender body as she felt herself being swept away in an Aurora Borealis 
of passion. Then he said the words her heart had ached to hear for so 
long. 'Giz a quick shot on your rat, love. I want to catch last orders'. 
(from The Lady and the Disgraced Former Manchester United and Northern 
Ireland Footballer, by Barbara Cartland).