****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****


Okay, let's wrap this fucker up.  Seven prembetcunts, three Gut League
Chancers.  Three rounds left by my calculations, which is a bit of a pain in
the arse truth be told, because there's only two rounds left on the
spreadshit so it's going to require some work to fit week 40 on there
without disrupting teamstats and the suchlike.  Cunts.

======================================
This week's match odds (26/4/08):

                                                            Home  Draw  Away
      Chelsea v Manchester United  (12:45BST)     2.58   3.3   3.1
      Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
      Manchester City v Fulham  (15:00BST)     1.95   3.65   4.7
      Sunderland v Middlesbrough  (15:00BST)     2.34   3.3   3.55
      Tottenham v Bolton Wanderers  (15:00BST)     1.98   3.75   4.33
      West Ham v Newcastle United  (15:00BST)     2.58   3.5   3
      Wigan Athletic v Reading  (15:00BST)     2.16   3.55   3.85
      Colchester Utd v Stoke City  (15:00BST)     5.5   3.95   1.67
      Coventry City v Wolves  (15:00BST)     2.45   3.4   3
      Preston North End v Ipswich Town  (15:00BST)     3   3.4   2.5

Deadline for betcunting:  11:45BST, 26/4/08
======================================

Balances:

      Vicky     405
      Joe     395
      Poleson     374
      Chopsy     304
      Ben     300
      Kevin     250
      Goalie     213
      Mikey     208
      Cornelius     200
      Sid     158
      Gra     152
      Osbourne     85
      Martin     28
      TonyMac     5
      Nigel     5
      Bobby     5
      Demo     5
============

Advance betcunt:

 Martin (28) 28 on Tottenham v Bolton HOME   @ 1.98

-- 
HoHY

"VIVA Las BETCUNTS!!!1one!1!!!deadMrsLampard!1!1!" - Elvis Presley

http://uksf.org.uk/betcunt/

According to <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey>:
>Okay, let's wrap this fucker up.  Seven prembetcunts, three Gut League
>Chancers.  Three rounds left by my calculations, which is a bit of a pain in
>the arse truth be told, because there's only two rounds left on the
>spreadshit so it's going to require some work to fit week 40 on there
>without disrupting teamstats and the suchlike.  Cunts.

Maybe you should just cancel the last week.  I recommend not telling anyone
until after the actual last week, though.  HTH, HAND.

>                                                            Home  Draw  Away
>      Chelsea v Manchester United  (12:45BST)     2.58   3.3   3.1

Blimey.  I've not seen the odds on a Manky win so high for a while.

>      Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77

Tempting to AMY an away win on this, but it's the weekend after a 
European midweek.  It'll be a draw.

>      Tottenham v Bolton Wanderers  (15:00BST)     1.98   3.75   4.33

BET: 15 on the Notlobs, please.

>      Vicky     405

*shuffles away from the unlucky first position in final week position*
--

Joe Horowitz wrote:

>       Colchester Utd v Stoke City  (15:00BST)     5.5   3.95   1.67

BET: 5 Youks on the home win please.

>       Nigel     5

That's an easy one - we always struggle against Colchester, Pulis' old 
team, and Iwelumo will be keen to score against his old club.

Desperate, fearful times.

>       Manchester City v Fulham  (15:00BST)     1.95   3.65   4.7

BET: 31 youks on the AWAY win.

>       Gra     152

>
> That's an easy one - we always struggle against Colchester, Pulis' old
> team, and Iwelumo will be keen to score against his old club.

Iwelumo went to Charlton. Last summer.

Gra

"Vicky Conlan"  wrote in message 
news:fuks1c$30o5$2@magenta.plig.net...
> Maybe you should just cancel the last week.  I recommend not telling 
> anyone
> until after the actual last week, though.  HTH, HAND.

I've a feeling people would notice a full-programme of Premiership fixture 
taking place, you know.  It's not the kind of thing that usually passes this 
froup by.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

"nigel"  wrote in message 
news:X7qdnYTuOZk4ZZDVnZ2dnUVZ8hydnZ2d@plusnet...
> Joe Horowitz wrote:
>
>>       Colchester Utd v Stoke City  (15:00BST)     5.5   3.95   1.67
>
> BET: 5 Youks on the home win please.
>
>>       Nigel     5
>
> That's an easy one - we always struggle against Colchester, Pulis' old 
> team, and Iwelumo will be keen to score against his old club.


It's also the last ever game at Layer Road, which makes the home odds look 
pretty nice.

I was very glad we got to play there in the penultimate one.

BTN

According to <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey>:
>> Maybe you should just cancel the last week.  I recommend not telling 
>> anyone until after the actual last week, though.  HTH, HAND.
>I've a feeling people would notice a full-programme of Premiership fixture 
>taking place, you know.  It's not the kind of thing that usually passes this 
>froup by.

Pfft.  I think you give us more credit than we deserve!
--

> It's also the last ever game at Layer Road, which makes the home odds look
> pretty nice.
>
> I was very glad we got to play there in the penultimate one.
>

And saw a big win. It is a craphole, though, in fairness, isn't it?

Gra

"Gra"  wrote in message 
news:651d9c67-5e38-4d79-8d06-f4313868cf64@24g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
>
>> It's also the last ever game at Layer Road, which makes the home odds 
>> look
>> pretty nice.
>>
>> I was very glad we got to play there in the penultimate one.
>>
>
> And saw a big win.


I've seen bigger wins.

First time in my lifetime we've had two penalties in an away game though.

And *nobody* had ever seen three goals from CCFC defenders in a game before.

It was almost non-cuntspiratorial, in a sense.


> It is a craphole, though, in fairness, isn't it?


it was slightly worse than i remembered it being from last time. I don't 
actually think i got a clear view of any of the goals scored.

BTN

Gra wrote:

>>That's an easy one - we always struggle against Colchester, Pulis' old
>>team, and Iwelumo will be keen to score against his old club.
> 
> 
> Iwelumo went to Charlton. Last summer.
> 
> Gra

You're right.

I hate getting old!

Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:

> 
> It's also the last ever game at Layer Road

I didn't know that. Where are Colchester moving to?

Last season Layer Road was pretty much a fortress, but now teams seem to 
have them sussed.

> 
> I was very glad we got to play there in the penultimate one.
> 

According to my tabloids, Colchester were pretty much in charge in the 
first half.

I believe Sidibe is out for the rest of the season, so that's half of 
our twin towers gone and less of a target for the long punts.

"nigel"  wrote in message 
news:pZqdnWYMtKCIiJPVnZ2dnUVZ8gidnZ2d@plusnet...
> Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:
>
>>
>> It's also the last ever game at Layer Road
>
> I didn't know that. Where are Colchester moving to?


Cuckoo Farm. Or United Way. Or whatever sponsor name they come up with.


> Last season Layer Road was pretty much a fortress, but now teams seem to 
> have them sussed.


The loss of their best players was also significant.


>> I was very glad we got to play there in the penultimate one.
>>
>
> According to my tabloids, Colchester were pretty much in charge in the 
> first half.


Not really. They took the lead against the run of play, and then we looked 
shaky, but until they scored we were as good as we were in the second half.

But, of course, newspapers will take the concept of one club winning at half 
time, and another at full time, and trot out the same 'game of two halves' 
story they always do, regardless of what actually transpired on the pitch.

BTN

On Apr 22, 9:55 am, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:

>       Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77

Here goes the anti-Ben+Mikey AMY bet.

AMY on the away win, please.

>       Sid     158

Sid

On 22 Apr, 15:55, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:

>       Coventry City v Wolves  (15:00BST)     2.45   3.4   3

AMY on Wolves please Joe.

>       TonyMac     5

> ======================================
>      Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
>      Bobby     5
> ============

AMY on the AWAY please

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2...

>      Coventry City v Wolves  (15:00BST)     2.45   3.4   3


BET: 60 Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe

BTN

In article <N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2>, 
my_name@youblunder.co.youghey says...
> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
> 
>       West Ham v Newcastle United  (15:00BST)     2.58   3.5   3
> 

BET: Y4 on an AWAY victory.

>       Poleson     374

It wasn't that long ago that we still had three digit phone numbers in 
Whalsay. Mine was 472.
-- 
poleson at gmail dot com

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in
news:N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2: 

> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
> 
> 
> ======================================
> This week's match odds (26/4/08):
> 

>       Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77

BET: 40 youks on Liverpool to WIN please, Janice Graham Wilson.


-- 
Cheers, Os

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2...
>                                                            Home  Draw 
> Away
>      Tottenham v Bolton Wanderers  (15:00BST)     1.98   3.75   4.33
>      Joe     395

BET:  10 on the away.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

In article <N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2>,
Joe Horowitz <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote:
>      Manchester City v Fulham  (15:00BST)     1.95   3.65   4.7
>      Kevin     250

BET: I would like 150 on Man City.
Thanks
Daddy

Joe Horowitz wrote:

>                                                             Home  Draw  Away

>       Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77

100 Youks on Birmingham to LOSE

Kullsclusive.

C

Joe Horowitz wrote:
> 
> ============================================
> West Ham v Newcastle United  (15:00BST)     2.58   3.5   3
> ============================================

All my Youks on a HOME win please Joe.

BlueRoo

On Apr 22, 3:55 pm, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:

>       Chelsea v Manchester United  (12:45BST)     2.58   3.3   3.1

75 youks on the AWAY win please.

--
Cornelius

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2...
>      Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
>      Mikey     208

BET: 7 Youks on a Birmingham win, please, Joe.


-- 
Mike

In message <N7mPj.68887$VC1.14454@newsfe10.ams2>, Joe Horowitz 
<my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> writes
>      Chelsea v Manchester United  (12:45BST)     2.58   3.3   3.1

BET: Y 15 on the AWAY win please.

>      Goalie     213

-- 
Goalie of the Century

"Roo"  wrote in message
news:67enphF2odircU4@mid.individual.net...
> All my Youks on a HOME win please Joe.

Erm...  I'm sorry about this, Roo, but you were ejected for 
NotProperBetcunting a couple of weeks back, on account of your penis being 
so repeatedly tint as to render your balance negative.

You hace teh -4 Youks.

-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

Cornelius wrote:

> On Apr 22, 3:55 pm, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
> wrote:
> 
> 
>>      Chelsea v Manchester United  (12:45BST)     2.58   3.3   3.1
> 
> 
> 75 youks on the AWAY win please.
> 
> --
> Cornelius

If you believe the hoist/petard theory (which worked when Boro sounded 
off about the pain they'd cause Bolton last weekend), then Fergie 
boasting about how the Mancs will win the prem at Chelski today looks 
ripe for a cropper.

Joe Horowitz wrote:
> 
> Erm...  I'm sorry about this, Roo, but you were ejected for 
> NotProperBetcunting a couple of weeks back, on account of your penis being 
> so repeatedly tint as to render your balance negative.
> 
> You hace teh -4 Youks.

WHOOHOO!!!

All of them on a HOME win please Joe.

BlueRoo

"Roo"  wrote in message 
news:67gig9F2nnd6iU4@mid.individual.net...
> Joe Horowitz wrote:
>>
>> Erm...  I'm sorry about this, Roo, but you were ejected for 
>> NotProperBetcunting a couple of weeks back, on account of your penis 
>> being so repeatedly tint as to render your balance negative.
>>
>> You hace teh -4 Youks.
>
> WHOOHOO!!!
>
> All of them on a HOME win please Joe.

I'd love to accommodate you here, Roo, because I like you a lot.  But if you 
won it might break my spreadshit.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

Joe Horowitz wrote:
> 
> I'd love to accommodate you here, Roo, because I like you a lot.  But if you 
> won it might break my spreadshit.

<pffft>

If that goblin Nunn would have asked it would have been ok though.  One 
big clique.  Pah!

Anyway Joe, you are assuming that I will break the habit of a season and 
actually back a team that wins.  Currently West Ham are drawing 2-2.  I 
fully expect them to snatch defeat from the jaws of, erm, a draw.  This 
competition has just reinforced my view that when it comes to betting 
I'm about as much use as tits on a fish.

Do as you wish Joe, you are a fair and just God...I will respect your 
decision.

BlueRoo

Roo wrote:
> 
> This competition has just reinforced my view that when it comes to betting 
> I'm about as much use as tits on a fish.

In your face UKSEF!!!

Bwehehehe...

BlueRoo

According to :
>>      Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
>
>Tempting to AMY an away win on this, but it's the weekend after a 
>European midweek.  It'll be a draw.
>
>>      Tottenham v Bolton Wanderers  (15:00BST)     1.98   3.75   4.33
>
>BET: 15 on the Notlobs, please.

Dammit!  
--

Chopsy wrote:
> Joe Horowitz wrote:
> 
>>                                                             Home  
>> Draw  Away
> 
>>       Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
> 
> 100 Youks on Birmingham to LOSE

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOC


C

I've just flicked through the bets for this week and am wondering now
if /anyone/ had a winner, other than Roo's obvious non-winner.  What
an utterottercockweek.

--

"Vicky Conlan"  wrote in message 
news:fv07kk$2b0n$1@magenta.plig.net...
> I've just flicked through the bets for this week and am wondering now
> if /anyone/ had a winner, other than Roo's obvious non-winner.  What
> an utterottercockweek.

As former Youksef contributor Ron Atkinson might note, Gra pulled a
rabbit out of the top drawer.


-- 
Mike

Sid  wrote in news:0320995f-e428-47b1-8de1-

>>       Birmingham City v Liverpool  (15:00BST)     3   3.3   2.77
 
> Here goes the anti-Ben+Mikey AMY bet.
 
> AMY on the away win, please.
 
>>       Sid     158

Hmm. In hindsight, I should have used the powers of the AMY on Chelsea 
instead.

Sid

According to :
>> I've just flicked through the bets for this week and am wondering now
>> if /anyone/ had a winner, other than Roo's obvious non-winner.  What
>> an utterottercockweek.
>As former Youksef contributor Ron Atkinson might note, Gra pulled a
>rabbit out of the top drawer.

So he did.  Quite a nice rabbit, too.  my apologies to Gra.

--

On Apr 27, 5:15 pm, co...@riffraff.plig.net (Vicky Conlan) wrote:
> According to :
>
> >> I've just flicked through the bets for this week and am wondering now
> >> if /anyone/ had a winner, other than Roo's obvious non-winner.  What
> >> an utterottercockweek.
> >As former Youksef contributor Ron Atkinson might note, Gra pulled a
> >rabbit out of the top drawer.
>
> So he did.  Quite a nice rabbit, too.  my apologies to Gra.
>

That's quite alright. It's actually a chinchilla that I've stuck fake
ears on. My rabbit died back in Week 32, so long did it wait in that
drawer to be pulled out.

Gra