I've been avidly watching the commodities market to see who the movers 
and shaker are. Anyone who bought gold way back in  April 07 will be 
delighted to see their silly yellow metal worth half as much again 
today. And don't talk to me about those clever little boys and girls who 
preferred to fill their swimming pools with Brent oil ; they're looking 
at a return of almost of almost 50% in the same time-scales. Crude? It's 
positively vulgar.

But should scum like me be excluded from this glee club. Well yes, 
especially after I bought a shit load of “2 for a pound, your gas 
lighters” off some twat on Northumberland Street only to see them 
plummet to “5 for a pound, your gas lighters” the following year. My 
fingers were burnt quite literally with those shoddy little fuckers, but 
I've scored big in the pomegranate market. Anyone with the brass neck to 
pick these fleshy little fruit things up for 30p a piece in The Green 
Market back in April  will be delighted to see them now pushing a pound 
a piece in Tescos – on “Special” at that !111!!!LOL!!!11!!!

Thank fuck I put all of my money into pomegranates. Actually, they're 
smelling bad now, so disregard.

-- 
"Watching Newcastle and Boro fans attempt to score points off each other 
is truly just like watching two bald men fight over a comb."
sjmbeef on 606