****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****


Okay, here we go again.  Just the one round again, because again, there's 
not much particularly super about Super Sunday.  No-one supports West Ham or 
Everton here anyway so it should slip by unnoticed.

In the meantime, seven Prembetcunts and three Gut League Chancers.  Oh, and 
there's a one week amnesty on any improper betcunters, which means they can 
borrow one Youk and rejoin the gheyme if they want.  But I mean it when I 
say 'one week', as mentioned before it takes much less effort to place a 
betcunt than it does for me to administrate the fact that you haven't, so 
I've only limited sympathy for cunts who can't do it.

Next year will see the abandonment of all Youk deductions.  I dislike them.

======================================

This week's match odds (19/1/08):

                                                            Home  Draw  Away
      Birmingham City v Chelsea  (15:00GMT)     6.2   3.6   1.75
      Blackburn v Middlesbrough  (15:00GMT)     1.8   3.65   5.1
      Fulham v Arsenal  (15:00GMT)     7.85   4   1.53
      Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10
      Reading v Manchester Utd  (15:00GMT)     9.5   4.5   1.42
      Tottenham v Sunderland  (15:00GMT)     1.5   4.8   9.5
      Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33
      Coventry City v Burnley  (15:00GMT)     2.2   3.3   3.5
      West Brom v Cardiff City  (15:00GMT)     1.72   3.5   5.25
      Watford v Charlton Athletic  (17:20GMT)     2.25   3.3   3.3
      Celtic v Kilmarnock  (15:00GMT)     1.2   6   12

Deadline for betcunting:   14:00GMT, 19/1/08
======================================

Balances:

      Vicky     355
      Ben     280
      Joe     235
      TonyMac     231
      Gra     169
      Bobby     160
      Goalie     154
      Sid     152
      Osbourne     142
      Mikey     140
      Kevin     125
      Poleson     91
      Cornelius     80
      Chopsy     71
      Demo     61
      Nigel     37
      Roo      13
      James G     0*
      Steve H     0*
      Kully     0*
      Roondog     0*
      Martin     0*

*May borrow one Youk from the House for betcunting.
============

-- 
HoHY

"VIVA Las BETCUNTS!!!1one!1!!!rubbishcunts!1!1!" - Elvis Presley

http://uksf.org.uk/betcunt/

According to <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey>:
>      Watford v Charlton Athletic  (17:20GMT)     2.25   3.3   3.3
>      Vicky     355

BET: 15 on Watford, please.
--

On Jan 14, 3:22 pm, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:

>       Birmingham City v Chelsea  (15:00GMT)     6.2   3.6   1.75

30 youks on the AWAY win please.

--
Cornelius

On Jan 15, 4:22 am, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:
> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
>
> This week's match odds (19/1/08):
>
>                                                             Home  Draw  Away
>       Birmingham City v Chelsea  (15:00GMT)     6.2   3.6   1.75
Please sir, may I borrow a Youk?
BET: 1 youk on Chelsea to WIN

>       Martin     0*
>
> *May borrow one Youk from the House for betcunting.
> ============
>

Thank you sir, you're a gent.

M

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in

>       Birmingham City v Chelsea  (15:00GMT)     6.2   3.6   1.75

10Y on the away win, please.

>       Sid     152

Sid

Joe Horowitz wrote:

 > ============================================
 > Blackburn v Middlesbrough  (15:00GMT)     1.8   3.65   5.1
 > ============================================

10 Youks on a HOME win please Joe.

 > ======
 > Balance:
 > Roo   13
 > ======

BlueRoo

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in
news:l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk: 

> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
> 
> 
> Okay, here we go again.  Just the one round again, because again,
> there's not much particularly super about Super Sunday.  No-one
> supports West Ham or Everton here anyway so it should slip by
> unnoticed. 

And Wigan, Joe, don't forget Wigan. With Wigan, Everton and West Ham 
playing on Super Sunday there will be absolutely no interest for any 
Youksefer on this least prestigious of occasions. 

Apart from Man City who we all quite like, obviously. But otherwise, YPS.

> 
> Next year will see the abandonment of all Youk deductions.  I dislike
> them. 

Youk deductions are cunts. I've never liked them with their mean eyes and 
little ratty noses and those cunty little Asian cars that they pimp up 
and drive around their badland council estates.

Cunts.

> 
> ======================================
> 
> This week's match odds (19/1/08):
> 

>       Tottenham v Sunderland  (15:00GMT)     1.5   4.8   9.5

BET: 2 Youks on the DRAW please Johosaphatabopolis.

> 
> Deadline for betcunting:   14:00GMT, 19/1/08
> ======================================
> 
> Balances:
> 

>       Osbourne     142

-- 
Cheers, Os

> ======================================
>      Fulham v Arsenal  (15:00GMT)     7.85   4   1.53
>      Bobby     160
> ============

10 on the DRAW please

>       Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10

BET: I'll take a 2-youk punt on an AWAY win. Danny Mills? Robbie
Savage? Laurent Robert? With a collection of cocks of this order it's
practically in the bag.

>       Gra     169

Um, what year is it? Have I just woken up from a dream?

Gra  wrote in news:d2432a17-d72f-4dac-857c-
8cbda7b20dd2@s8g2000prg.googlegroups.com:

> BET: I'll take a 2-youk punt on an AWAY win. Danny Mills? Robbie
> Savage? Laurent Robert? With a collection of cocks of this order it's
> practically in the bag.
> 

That reminds me, my cock collection bag order hasn't turned up yet, I 
must check up on it.

-- 
Cheers, Os

"nigel"  wrote in message 
news:13oprhj4q03i3cd@corp.supernews.com...
> Um, what year is it? Have I just woken up from a dream?

Oh, fuckity fuck.  Never mind.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

Joe Horowitz wrote:
> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****

>                                                             Home  Draw  Away

>       West Brom v Cardiff City  (15:00GMT)     1.72   3.5   5.25

BET: 30 Youks on West Brom to WIN

C

On 14 Jan, 15:22, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:
> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****

50 on Newcastle win please Joe. The Messiah has returned in the form
of a mentally unstable 56-year old whose biggest claim to fame is
appearing in Brut 33 adverts.

>       Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33

Apparently, Kevin Keegan had a bit of a rant in a post-match
interview. Can anyone elaborate? I seem to keep catching a bit of the
interview on every news, sports news and radio station in the
universe.

I couldn't hear clearly, but his words went something like, "I'd love
it, love it if he came and waved his dong in my face." I'd really
appreciate some clarificisationalism.

>       TonyMac     231

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
news:l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>                                                         Home  Draw  Away
>      Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33
>      Joe     235

BET:  10 on Newcastle.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

In article <l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk>,
Joe Horowitz <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote:
>      Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33
>      Kevin     125

BET: I wouldn't usually back Newcastle ,but as Kevs back I'll try 25 on them to win.
thanks,
Daddy

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>      Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10

>      Ben     280


BET: Twenty (20) Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe.

BTN

Joe Horowitz wrote:

>       Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10

BET: 5 youks on the draw please

>       Nigel     37

Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:

> "Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
> news:l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> 
>>     Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10
> 
> 
>>     Ben     280
> 
> 
> 
> BET: Twenty (20) Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe.
> 
> BTN 
> 

I worked out my bet a couple of days ago, but I held fire because I 
wanted to see what you would come up with.

Interesting!

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>      Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33
>      Mikey     140

BET: 10 Youks on a Newcastle win, please, Joe.


-- 
Mike

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:5vbbaoF1l5ifpU1@mid.individual.net...
>>      Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10
>
> BET: Twenty (20) Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe.

I like this teh betcunt.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

"nigel"  wrote in message 
news:13p1gia4h9lntd3@corp.supernews.com...
> I worked out my bet a couple of days ago, but I held fire because I wanted 
> to see what you would come up with.

AWTWP.  I never intend to place another bet without seeing
Ben's bet first.

Conversely, I try everything in my power to avoid seeing TMAK's
choice of betcunt before placing my own, just in case it accidentally
seeps into my subconscious mind.


-- 
Mike

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
news:R74kj.220479$S37.143431@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
>>>      Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10
>>
>> BET: Twenty (20) Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe.
>
> I like this teh betcunt.


I've thrown a bit of a curveball this week, I know.

I actually came up with the idea of placing this sort of betcunt about a 
month ago when top of the table.

My only decision was whether to place it early in the week, and put all 
kinds of strange pressure on the opposition, or to wait a while. In the 
event I figured it was such a good betcunt, I wanted to wait.

Now that most people have betcunted, I'm happy to explain my thinking behind 
it:

Derby have been unlucky this season - e.g. they've got fewer points than 
they should have. I'm not saying they shouldn't be in the bottom three, or 
even that they shouldn't be in last place, but they have deserved at least 
six or seven points more than they've actually got.

Portsmouth, in contrast have slightly overachieved, particularly in away 
games where they've picked up a couple of wins that they didn't really 
deserve.

The pressure has been on Pompey to maintain their position in the table, and 
they have been failing, thanks to a complete inability to win (or even 
score) at home lately. Players going to the Africa Toto Cup won't help.

But the pressure is off Derby because they are so far behind. With a bunch 
of new signings, they'll have one last crack at getting back into 
contention, but it's such a long shot that nobody really expects to 
achieve... they've reached the inflection point where the ground is so much 
to make up, that they'll now start making it up without trying to hard, and 
with few people noticing.

So... all things considered, Derby are a good bet to get something from this 
game. The draw at 4.7 is probably about the right price, but a Derby win 
isn't that much less likely, perhaps in the region of 7.5-8.

Perhaps of more interest is the fact that instead of betting just a youk or 
two, as I normally do on long-odds value bets, I've gone for a substantial 
punt, and I've done so maybe six weeks before one might expect me to start 
making these kinds of bets.

The thinking behind this is that I'm somewhat behind Vicky, but somewhat 
ahead of a closely-bunched chasing pack. Losing 20 youks will not change all 
that much. Winning 200 will put so much pressure on lower-placed betcunters 
that they'll begin making reckless mistakes.

When I was top of the league, I decided that I wanted to put on a 
high-pressure, long-odds betcunt, staking to return a couple of hundred 
youks, and would just wait for an attractive enough fixture to come along.

I almost did this with the West Ham - Man Utd game a few weeks ago, but 
backed off. This week, I identified the value, and executed my plan.

And, whether I win it spectacularly, or am made to look a twat by Pompey 
winning 6-0, I shall be very pleased with my work this week.

BTN

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:5vc2p0F1k8gqiU1@mid.individual.net...
> The thinking behind this is that I'm somewhat behind Vicky, but somewhat 
> ahead of a closely-bunched chasing pack. Losing 20 youks will not change 
> all that much.

That's the bit I like.  I always consider worst-case scenerios (i.e. losing 
a betcunt) when placing a betcunt, and reject any that are unacceptable. 
Only exception to this was when I placed thirty on Arsenal to beat Derby 
early in the season.  Call it results-based, but I still stand by that 
decision as having been 'very safe' at worst.

> Winning 200 will put so much pressure on lower-placed betcunters that 
> they'll begin making reckless mistakes.

Not me, sir.  I've learned my lessons and am sticking to my plan.

> And, whether I win it spectacularly, or am made to look a twat by Pompey 
> winning 6-0, I shall be very pleased with my work this week.

Nunnxclusive.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:
> "Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message 
> news:R74kj.220479$S37.143431@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>>>>      Portsmouth v Derby County  (15:00GMT)     1.45   4.7   10
>>> BET: Twenty (20) Youks on the AWAY win please, Joe.
>> I like this teh betcunt.
> 
> 
> I've thrown a bit of a curveball this week, I know.
> 
> I actually came up with the idea of placing this sort of betcunt about a 
> month ago when top of the table.
> 
> My only decision was whether to place it early in the week, and put all 
> kinds of strange pressure on the opposition, or to wait a while. In the 
> event I figured it was such a good betcunt, I wanted to wait.
> 
> Now that most people have betcunted, I'm happy to explain my thinking behind 
> it:
> 
> Derby have been unlucky this season - e.g. they've got fewer points than 
> they should have. I'm not saying they shouldn't be in the bottom three, or 
> even that they shouldn't be in last place, but they have deserved at least 
> six or seven points more than they've actually got.

Derby have scored three goals away from home this season. I agree that 
they aren't as bad as their points total makes them, but they're going 
to finish bottom because they can't score goals.
Pompey have conceded 8 goals at home this season. Their defence is 
pretty much all staying at Fratton Park - only Lauren is off to the ANC.

Pompey might not win this, but they aren't going to lose, because they 
won't concede goals from the worst attack in the division.

C

Chopsy wrote:

> Pompey might not win this, but they aren't going to lose, because they 
> won't concede goals from the worst attack in the division.

Isn't this a reverse of an opening day fixture in which Derby had the 
better of a draw (causing MOTD pundits to be optimistic about their 
staying in the prem), and during which their most potent weapon was 
Steve Howard?

In article <l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk>, 
my_name@youblunder.co.youghey says...
> ****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
> 
>       West Brom v Cardiff City  (15:00GMT)     1.72   3.5   5.25

BET: Y4 on an AWAY win!
> 
>       Poleson     91

-- 
poleson at gmail dot com

According to :
>So... all things considered, Derby are a good bet to get something from this 
>game. The draw at 4.7 is probably about the right price, but a Derby win 
>isn't that much less likely, perhaps in the region of 7.5-8.

FWIW, I agree about Derby being unlickey and all that, but I prefer the smell
coming from the drawer this week.
--

Vicky Conlan wrote:

> 
> FWIW, I agree about Derby being unlickey and all that, but I prefer the smell
> coming from the drawer this week.

I'll have what she's smoking.

On Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:22:57 GMT, "Joe Horowitz"
<my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote:

>****House Of Hopeful Youks headed paper****
>======================================
>
>This week's match odds (19/1/08):
>
>                                                            Home  Draw  Away
>      Newcastle Utd v Bolton  (17:15GMT)     2.03   3.5   4.33

BET: Five (5) youks on the home win. Thanks sexysocks.

>      Demo     61


-- 
Demosthenes
'I can't really recall much beyond that. My time in Youksef seems very transient, 
it's like a dream, or a wonderful land like Narnia. Except with glans everywhere.'

In message <l7Lij.196524$S37.68825@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk>, Joe 
Horowitz <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> writes

>      Reading v Manchester Utd  (15:00GMT)     9.5   4.5   1.42

Y 10 on the AWAY win, please.

>      Goalie     154

-- 
Goalie of the Century

"Chopsy"  wrote in message 
news:4790f9f4$0$8412$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...

> Pompey might not win this, but they aren't going to lose, because they 
> won't concede goals from the worst attack in the division.



Won't they?

Maybe Nyatanga has you killfiled.

BTN

Sir Benjamin Nunn wrote:
> "Chopsy"  wrote in message 
> news:4790f9f4$0$8412$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
> 
>> Pompey might not win this, but they aren't going to lose, because they 
>> won't concede goals from the worst attack in the division.
> 
> 
> 
> Won't they?
> 
> Maybe Nyatanga has you killfiled.

They conceded a goal from the Debry defence, but not goals from their 
attack.

Therefore, I am best.

C

"Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
news:5vei84F1m1h8rU1@mid.individual.net...
> Won't they?
>
> Maybe Nyatanga has you killfiled.

Wouldn't surprise me.  Premiership footballers are a sensitive, easily
offended lot.  Former Southampton defender Francis Benali, for example,
added me and Joe to his killfile because "those two obvious bum-boys are
getting on my tits".  Quite unfair, I thought.  We were only cuddling.

You, yourself Ben, were, iirc, killfiled by every Premiership footballer in
the 2002/03 season for attempting to avenge years of unwanted penis
pictures by posting a picture of your own.  Did they take it in good humous?
Of course not.  They had a quick wank and then killfiled you for making
them question thier sexual orientation.

And though not a Premiership footballer, AC Milan midfielder Kaka
recently killfiled Robert Poleson on the grounds that the great man was
making him seriously question his long-held religious beliefs.  "How can
there be two all-knowing, slightly incoherent deities?", he's reported to
have remarked.


-- 
Mike

"Michael Cunningham"  wrote in message 
news:fmvm92$6as$1@aioe.org...
> "Sir Benjamin Nunn"  wrote in message 
> news:5vei84F1m1h8rU1@mid.individual.net...
>> Won't they?
>>
>> Maybe Nyatanga has you killfiled.
>
> Wouldn't surprise me.  Premiership footballers are a sensitive, easily
> offended lot.  Former Southampton defender Francis Benali, for example,
> added me and Joe to his killfile because "those two obvious bum-boys are
> getting on my tits".  Quite unfair, I thought.  We were only cuddling.
>
> You, yourself Ben, were, iirc, killfiled by every Premiership footballer 
> in
> the 2002/03 season for attempting to avenge years of unwanted penis
> pictures by posting a picture of your own.  Did they take it in good 
> humous?
> Of course not.  They had a quick wank and then killfiled you for making
> them question thier sexual orientation.
>
> And though not a Premiership footballer, AC Milan midfielder Kaka
> recently killfiled Robert Poleson on the grounds that the great man was
> making him seriously question his long-held religious beliefs.  "How can
> there be two all-knowing, slightly incoherent deities?", he's reported to
> have remarked.
>
>
> -- 
> Mike
>

"Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
news:PLMkj.232846$S37.141780@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

I feel that's some way short of your best contribution to the froup,
Joe.  Some way short.


-- 
Mike

On Jan 21, 2:52 pm, "Michael Cunningham"
 wrote:
> "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
>
> news:PLMkj.232846$S37.141780@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> I feel that's some way short of your best contribution to the froup,
> Joe.  Some way short.
>
I'm not so sure, Mikey. I think Joe has broken new ground with the
telepathetic froup posting thingummy. I mean, I know exactly what Joe
said, and I'm sure you do too.

M

"Michael Cunningham"  wrote in message 
news:fn0u0d$hha$1@aioe.org...
> "Joe Horowitz" <my_name@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
> news:PLMkj.232846$S37.141780@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> I feel that's some way short of your best contribution to the froup,
> Joe.  Some way short.

DWTWP.  My Mum had a saying...

"If you're not sure what to say", she'd say sagely, "just quote Mikey"
"But what if you're not sure which bits to quote?", I'd ask.
"Just quote all of it", she'd reply.  "Don't snip a single word.  It's most 
likely all complete genius.  But don't add anything either, because it won't 
be as good".

Shall I tell her she was wrong?


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

"Mister M"  wrote in message 
news:e571a378-be9f-47a5-994b-6be1f0d7d180@n20g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
On Jan 21, 2:52 pm, "Michael Cunningham"
 wrote:
> "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
>
> news:PLMkj.232846$S37.141780@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> I feel that's some way short of your best contribution to the froup,
> Joe. Some way short.
>
I'm not so sure, Mikey. I think Joe has broken new ground with the
telepathetic froup posting thingummy. I mean, I know exactly what Joe
said, and I'm sure you do too.

M

On Jan 21, 4:10 pm, "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey>
wrote:
> "Mister M"  wrote in message
>
> news:e571a378-be9f-47a5-994b-6be1f0d7d180@n20g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> On Jan 21, 2:52 pm, "Michael Cunningham" wrote:
> > "Joe Horowitz" <my_n...@youblunder.co.youghey> wrote in message
>
> >news:PLMkj.232846$S37.141780@fe3.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> > I feel that's some way short of your best contribution to the froup,
> > Joe. Some way short.
>
> I'm not so sure, Mikey. I think Joe has broken new ground with the
> telepathetic froup posting thingummy. I mean, I know exactly what Joe
> said, and I'm sure you do too.
>
> M

Me too.

M