Hugs here please...

-- 
Cheers, Os

"Osbourne Ruddock"  wrote in message 
news:Xns9A046D406CDA3strikeboyhotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
> Hugs here please...
>
> -- 
> Cheers, Os

Middlesbrough. Those dirty feelthy smoggy bastards were given only three 
hopes of beating Arsenal (Bob, Wester, and No) and yet they somehow 
contrived to stick two onions in the bag.

And unlike under Steve McClaren, Gareth "no badges" Southgate actually 
seemed to formulate an offensive gameplan. Southgate for England. Don't 
laugh - it's happened before.

"Tommo ³"  wrote in
news:UdidnTgV0bcorsLanZ2dnUVZ8tKsnZ2d@bt.com: 

> 
> Middlesbrough. Those dirty feelthy smoggy bastards were given only
> three hopes of beating Arsenal (Bob, Wester, and No) and yet they
> somehow contrived to stick two onions in the bag.
> 

Remember, Mr T, that if you really have the hots on for some lurve
sharing, you can award a team '2' hugs whereas the above would normally
be taken as just one. God knows the 'boro need it. 

Just letting you know'n'shit. 


-- 
Cheers, Os

Tommo ³ wrote:

> And unlike under Steve McClaren, Gareth "no badges" Southgate actually 
> seemed to formulate an offensive gameplan. Southgate for England. Don't 
> laugh - it's happened before. 

He seems to be building a decent team on the quiet. Quite a lot of the 
current England under-21s are playing for Boro.

Wenger reckons Southgate would be a decent choice for England manager. I 
know he's against countries being managed by aliens, but it would 
certainly be an interesting choice.

What I don't understand is the current feeling that Shearer only has to 
give the nod and he'll be installed as Newcastle or England manager. He 
did a very good job as a striker in the prem and wasn't bad at 
international level until his legs went and FIFA cracked down on 'upper 
body strength' because it resulted in too many broken noses. But if you 
look at his track record in working with others, particularly those more 
gifted than himself, it's abysmal. He was the driving force behind at 
least two Newcastle managers getting the sack, his sulks when he was 
'rested' are legendary, and he was hopeless at bonding with other 
top-class strikers (Craig Bellamy, Michael Owen, Patrick Kluivert, 
Joh-Dahl Thomasson, Asprilla etc etc).

Hugs to Boro and Arsenal (nice one Boro, shame it puts the Mancs back in 
the title race), Pompey (outperforming my expectations), Derby (first 
away goal of the season) and Reading (even though my zero youks were on 
the draw - I wish I'd known Voronin was going to start).

On 11 Dec, 21:44, Osbourne Ruddock  wrote:
> Hugs here please...

Two honorary hugs to Os, for guiding us to victory against the evil
Morloks from Australia.

Two hugs to Reading for puncturing the Liverbubble temporarily. And
for everyone forgetting that Reading played well, and for a lot of
pundits actually forgetting that Reading played at all.

One hug to Derby for scoring.

Two hugs to Middlesbrough for killing off the stupid bastard theory
that teams can be invincible, and the moronic media bandwagon that
occurs when a team goes through a purple patch and then plays badly.
It's the same media bandwagon in reverse that calls for the heads of
managers who go on a two-game losing streak.

Streak? Streak? I'll show you a fucking streak when I run you over in
my Polo.

Here are the official Peter Godfrey guidelines for the nomenclature of
losing streaks.

One game = bit of a blip
Two games = actual blip
Three games = triblip
Four games = poor run
Five games = terrible sequence of results, possible rash
Six games = vote of no confidence inducing streak, manager's face
begins to resemble slowly melting waxwork, unless it's Harry Redknapp,
in which case it resembles a slowly melting pre-melted waxwork dummy.
Seven games = never even seen a win
Eight games = every game henceforth is a six-pointer, tactics changed
to Back to Basics. The most common injury caused by the tactics will
be strained necks for the four midfielders.
Nine games = Tragic, inept, god awful, Hans Segers
Ten games = Decablip
Eleven games = job depends on next game
Twelve games = Mighty Ducks / Cool Runnings or other comedy underdogs
references
Twenty games = Mass suicides
Thirty games = Peter Reid's Sunderland / Swindon in the 90's
Forty games = Jesus Christ, I'm going to kill all my family and eat
their eyeballs and buy a canoe
Fifty games = the uninvincibles /
One hundred games = on this day, Ben Nunn will purchase a keg of
Stella, a one-metre long stick of Dairy Milk with added vegetable fat,
Katie Melua's new album, a PS3 with the latest blockbuster movie tie-
in game, three McDonald's happy meals, and ST's penis will fit into a
standard Asian-male size condom. Coventry will come back from 2-0 down
with a hat-trick scored by a centre half.

Any deviation from the above list will be treated with a look of
disapproving sadness from Peter Godfrey.

"Osbourne Ruddock"  wrote in message
news:Xns9A046D406CDA3strikeboyhotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
> Hugs here please...

1 Hug to Boro, for a superb performance against Arsenal.  Or, at least, to 
limiting Arsenal to a rubbish performance against them.  An under-strength 
Arsenal.  On a bad day.  With a touch of the snivels.  But let's not take 
anything away from Boro, it was a great win.  Also hugworthy was their 
impressively unhysterical female supporter who phoned into 606 after the 
match, explained how they won because they simply played their bloody socks 
off for ninety minutes in every position, but then when asked the obvious 
"so why don't they play like that every week" replied "they aren't fit 
enough.  Nobody is".  Probably a fair point.

1 Hug to Derby, for finding the back of the net after four years, three days 
and ninety six hours of football.  And make that an extra-specially warm one 
because it was at Old Fartford.  But not holding on until the point where it 
becomes awkward, because Derby have enough on their plate as it is without 
socially uncomfortable interruptions from the likes of me.

1 Hug to Muntari, of Portsmouth, for a couple of superb goals.  Booof!!  Eat 
that.  He must have a foot like a traction engine.  That was liquid 
football.  Twat!!11one!1  Did you see that?  etc.

That's it for this week.


-- 
Joe

"I am the fat puddin', but a single puddingness" - Vicky Conlan

"Osbourne Ruddock"  wrote in message
news:Xns9A046D406CDA3strikeboyhotmailcom@130.133.1.4...
> Hugs here please...

1 hug to Middlesbrough.  I like it when really shit teams get good
for an entire afternoon.

1 hug to Spurs for finally beating a team that aren't useless.  And also
for being on the receiving end of that Stephen Ireland tackle.

1 hug to Portsmouth for becoming an excellent team.  I don't know
how it happened but they're dead good and Muntari's goals at Villa
Park were just excellent.

1 hug to West Ham and specifically Dean Ashton, who I quite like.


-- 
Mike