Hi
I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
inspired by walking round
Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
in another song?

Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
feedback on the song or the recording of it?
At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
later )

http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari

James
http://www.ukjay.co.uk

"UkJay"  wrote in message 
news:1188118354.708318.261140@50g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> James
> http://www.ukjay.co.uk
>
 I went to the url and all three songs did not play. Cant give you an 
opinion if I cant hear it.

On Aug 26, 4:52 am, UkJay  wrote:
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk

This song is a prime example of an amateur demo. The arrangement is
monotonous and there isn't enough rhythmic, harmonic or melodic
movement to keep a listener interested for the entire length of the
track. The musicianship was decent, especially the guitar work, but
the main keyboard sound takes up way too much sonic real estate, and
essentially drowns out everything else, including the lead vocals. It
feels like you built the arrangement mix around a stagnant point (the
keyboard line), which makes connecting with your audience very
difficult. People need movement, anticipation, excitement from
somewhere, and I don't see that in this track. You have several other
things going on in the song that could become focal points as you
progress through the arrangement, so try pulling some of them out from
now and again to lead your listener through the song. Beef up your
vocal sounds, too. They sound very weak and indistinct, particularly
the BGVs. You have a good voice, I just feel like it isn't being
presented in the best light. Put it out there, front and
center...don't make it fight to be heard. Personally, I feel like you
could have said everything you had to say in that song in a lot less
time with a lot less "empty space". Just one man's opinion though.

You need a lot of help in the beat dept. Something that sounds electro
should have a killer dance beat.

On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay  wrote:
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk

Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly
that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever did luck up and get a
hit, you'd be giving easy target to someone else taking your
royalties.

"UkJay"  wrote in message 
news:1188118354.708318.261140@50g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> James
> http://www.ukjay.co.uk

  The vocals are too low in the mix, the keyboard part is too loud, and the 
drums are too "cheap drum module" sounding. The song is really monotonous, 
mostly because of the keyboard sound and bass part. There are no dynamics in 
the song either. I'd suggest using that keyboard sound only in either the 
verse or chorus, and use something else to give the song a bit of variety. 
Bring the vocals up in the mix and bring the guitar up a bit as well.

>http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari

Try another mix.   First off, bring the vocals up.   Stiffen up the
harmonies in the refrain.

There's a guitar noodling away in the background.  Aren't there some
places where it should be taking the lead?

Shorten the whole song by about a minute.  

It has potential.

On Sun, 26 Aug 2007 08:59:57 -0500, "Six String Stu"
 wrote stuff
and I replied:

Sorry to start ther Top post/bottom post fight, but why do I have to
scroll down through every message to get the lates news? This is
emphasised when ALL the messages are includede in the preamble, and
the last post is a 1 liner.

It goes against all busib=ness reporting pratcice; show the most
recent first and if the reader is interested they read the rest. If
not then that's their worry.

So. If you MUSAt bottom post, then at least minimise ther cRAP i HAVE
TO SCROLL DOWN EVERY i HAVE TO READ EACH MESSAGE .

>
>"UkJay"  wrote in message 
>news:1188118354.708318.261140@50g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
>> Hi
>> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
>> inspired by walking round
>> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
>> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
>> in another song?
>>
>> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
>> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
>> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
>> later )
>>
>> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>>
>> James
>> http://www.ukjay.co.uk
>>
> I went to the url and all three songs did not play. Cant give you an 
>opinion if I cant hear it. 
>

Human bevaviour: Bestiality with a brain

Hi again

I've taken on board your feedback and would like to say THANKS for
taking the
time to listen to the track and to give the help I obviously needed.
I have already started to re-mix, and came across a few mistakes I had
made with
a few things like picking the wrong vocal track and using the same
channel for six backing vocals (doh)
I am working on most of the problems you all pointed out, and
hopefully I wont be in such a rush
to mixdown this time. I also will try and add a few more things of
interest, and also cut the length of the
track down a bit, It was also nice to get some praise for the guitar
work (thanks StudioRat81)
it does help to give praise as well as criticism.

James
http://www.ukjay.co.uk





On Aug 26, 9:52 am, UkJay  wrote:
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk

> it does help to give praise as well as criticism.
>
> James
> http://www.ukjay.co.uk


True, but you're gonna get the obvious stuff pointed out first. It's the 
nature of the working/experienced muso's to think that way.....'gee, I need 
to hear more of..."

JL

"OldNick"  wrote in message 
news:tqf8d3huparouataub151u173mjvgtj8gt@4ax.com...
> On Sun, 26 Aug 2007 08:59:57 -0500, "Six String Stu"
>  wrote stuff
> So. If you MUSAt bottom post, then at least minimise ther cRAP i HAVE
> TO SCROLL DOWN EVERY i HAVE TO READ EACH MESSAGE .
>

  Bottom posting is considered proper from, however, one should snip out all 
but the parts to which one is replying, as I did here.

"Mike Rieves"  wrote in message 
news:l53Bi.38301$t9.17943@bignews7.bellsouth.net...

>  Bottom posting is considered proper from, however, one should snip out 
> all but the parts to which one is replying, as I did here.

LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic 
example with your one sentence gem at the bottom.

"Mark"  wrote in message
news:1184866973.955785.35070@d55g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> On Jul 18, 3:32 pm, "ptooner"  wrote:
>> "Mike Rieves"  wrote in message
>>
>> news:QXvni.481$wH1.479@bignews8.bellsouth.net...
>>
>>
>>
>> > "Glen"  wrote in message
>> >news:kYtni.8193$rR.1475@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
>> >> kokange...@gmail.com wrote:
>> >>> The Secret of Magic Tricks are revealed here! Learn street magic
>> >>> tricks, bar magic tricks, card tricks, coin tricks, etc. Easy lessons
>> >>> and magician secrets revealed. Dedicated for beginners who want to
>> >>> start learning secret magic tricks step by step.
>>
>> >>>http://secretmagictricks.blogspot.com/
>>
>> >> Is that what a sorceress hooker turns, magic tricks?
>>
>> >> ;-)
>> >> Glen
>>
>> > Yeah, first, she magically makes things bigger, then she magically 
>> > makes
>> > them smaller! :-)
>>
>> Yeah, years ago I picked up a girl hitch hiking.  I asked her what she 
>> did
>> and she told me she was a witch.  I said no kidding?  She says "Yes, I 
>> can
>> touch you and you'll turn into something".  I said let's see and sure 
>> enough
>> she touched me and I turned into a motel.  ba da boom.
>>
>> Gerry
>
> A variation on one of my favorites....
>
> I announce that I'm a magician. I then mention that, "Just the other
> day I was walking down the street and I turned into a liquor store."
>
  Changing the subject just abit, does anyone know why it is that we drive
on parkways and park on driveways?

"Jim Carr"  wrote in message 
news:N75Bi.222831$BX3.96102@newsfe13.lga...
> "Mike Rieves"  wrote in message 
> news:l53Bi.38301$t9.17943@bignews7.bellsouth.net...
>
> LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic 
> example with your one sentence gem at the bottom.

  How about this one? Fuck you, Jim!

"UkJay"  wrote in message 
news:1188118354.708318.261140@50g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari

Keyboard sound is kinda cheesy and overpowering.
Vocals seem pitchy and definitely buried.
Guitar solo is buried and doesn't seem to add anything.
Overall it's predictable and not the least bit funky.

To be honest I couldn't listen to the whole thing. Sometimes harsh criticism 
is needed. Just about everything is poorly done. It sounds like you have the 
germ of a catchy refrain, but that's about it.

On Aug 28, 11:38 pm, "Mike Rieves"  wrote:
> "Jim Carr"  wrote in message
>
> news:N75Bi.222831$BX3.96102@newsfe13.lga...
>
> > "Mike Rieves"  wrote in message
> >news:l53Bi.38301$t9.17943@bignews7.bellsouth.net...
>
> > LOL! Yeh, Mike, you're the King of Snipping. Just look at this classic
> > example with your one sentence gem at the bottom.
>
>   How about this one? Fuck you, Jim!

Okay guys, take your foul mouths out of the soloact group and stop
cross posting your garbage over here. Keep your filth over at the home
studio group along with the porno mags you hide from your mom under
the mattress. We have women, Ministers and even Jehovah Witness over
here. So wash your foul mouths with soap and water before entering.

is there any possibility of generating MP3 or Ogg formats?... i'd like
to listen and critique, but refuse to download anything from apple..

thanks!
isaac

"RickRyan.com"  wrote in message 
news:1188264889.125645.157420@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
> On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay  wrote:
>> Hi
>> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
>> inspired by walking round
>> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
>> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
>> in another song?
>>
>> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
>> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
>> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
>> later )
>>
>> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>>
>> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
>
> Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly
> that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever d<snip>

Dont listen to this dumb piece of shit, matey. He hasn't got a clue

Your song sounds fine.

Good luck with it......:)

Hi

I've just finished the remix of "Try It On" yeh it's titled "Try It On
- Remix"
I hope that all the advice given has paid off with this version?

I would be very interested on any more feedback of this remix - Thanks
It's at the same place - Overplay

http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari

James
http://www.ukjay.co.uk


On 26 Aug, 09:52, UkJay  wrote:
> Hi
> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> inspired by walking round
> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> in another song?
>
> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> later )
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk

On Aug 30, 1:35 am, "   na" <na@    na.com> wrote:
> "RickRyan.com"  wrote in message
>
> news:1188264889.125645.157420@22g2000hsm.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > On Aug 26, 3:52 am, UkJay  wrote:
> >> Hi
> >> I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> >> inspired by walking round
> >> Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> >> Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> >> in another song?
>
> >> Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> >> feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> >> At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> >> later )
>
> >>http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> >> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
>
> > Even without listening to it, do not EVER EVER EVER state publicly
> > that your song "was inspired by x". If you ever d<snip>
>
> Dont listen to this dumb piece of shit, matey. He hasn't got a clue
>
> Your song sounds fine.
>
> Good luck with it......:)

This is what happens when you cross post.You get useless advice from
the worst internet troll in the business, Nick Andrews.

Okay mate, I'll give it to you in terms that a Brit would understand.
You are a 3rd div. vocalist. No getting around that. You need at least
another chord change to make the song more interesting. Raising the
vocal level did help but at the expense of losing the volume on the
intro.(mixing is a dynamic process.) Keep at it mate.

On Aug 30, 8:27 am, UkJay  wrote:
> Hi
>
> I've just finished the remix of "Try It On" yeh it's titled "Try It On
> - Remix"
> I hope that all the advice given has paid off with this version?
>
> I would be very interested on any more feedback of this remix - Thanks
> It's at the same place - Overplay
>
> http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
>
> On 26 Aug, 09:52, UkJay  wrote:
>
>
>
> > Hi
> > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> > inspired by walking round
> > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> > in another song?
>
> > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> > feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> > later )
>
> >http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Well, you're definitely getting warmer. There is alot more interest
being generated than before. You could go even further by using some
type of melody over the keyboard line at the start of the song,
whether with a guitar or something else. Maybe an alternate version of
a guitar lick you use later in the song. You really want to reach out
and grab the listener straight away. The way you have it arranged now,
you are essentially asking them to sit around and wait for you to
start singing. There needs to be something to peak their interest
almost immediately.

As for the mix, I would pull the guitars in towards the center a bit
more. You have very few elements in your song, and leaving them spread
so far apart leaves too much open space between the speakers. Bring
everything in tighter, and it should start to blend and sound more
like a unit instead of seperate instruments. Spreading things out
definitely makes it easier to mix, but at the risk of losing that
intangible mesh that locks everything together and makes it a song.
Also, is there a kick drum thumping away on the left channel, or is
that palm mutes on the guitar? Either way, the rhythm isn't locking in
with the main drum line, and it's making things sound a little messy.

I would pull the BGVs down just a hair throughtout the song, and maybe
even the lead vocal right at the beginning...just a bit, though,
nowhere near as low as it was before...and then as the song
progresses, you can begin to bump it up little by little as a way of
building intensity. sid is right in saying that mixing is a dynamic
process. The perfect mix will breathe with the song. Levels and
settings should almost never stay completely the same throughout. If
you notice the changes, though, they are too drastic, unless you are
specifically going for some type of effect. It has to be very subtle
so as not to call attention to itself and snap the listener out of the
vibe you are trying to put them in.

Also, I'm not sure if this is something you've added since re-mixing,
or if it was just being covered up by the keyboard in the earlier
version, but the string section part that you put into the chorus is
definitely a plus. It really adds warmth and the right kind of energy
for this track. The chorus is really starting to mesh now, so turn
your focus towards keeping people invested in the song long enough to
get there.

All in all, a definite improvement, but if you'll learn to adopt the
mindset of a person who will be listening to your track, you can
continue to tweak both the arrangement and the mix until your song has
the maximum amount of appeal, and pulls the listener through from
start to finish.

Thanks again for taking time to express what you feel in such an
eloquent way StudioRat81 (A)
You have helped me get there, and I do have empathy for the listener I
can assure you of that
but we all have different tastes, so I suppose no one can say what is
right or wrong apart from obvious
mixing mistakes etc.


>You could go even further by using some
> type of melody over the keyboard line at the start of the song,

I personally like the sound of the fantom kb so I have left that alone
at the start
maybe I should have enhanced it a bit but then it would have been a
drag to drop it down later
(I still am learning about compression tricks)

I did use compression on the final mix

>Also, is there a kick drum thumping away on the left channel, or is
> that palm mutes on the guitar? Either way, the rhythm isn't locking in
> with the main drum line, and it's making things sound a little messy.

well someone said the drums sounded like a drum module  so i added
some stuff
maybe i should have snook it in tighter?

I like my lead guitar ringing out in the right hand speaker so i left
it there
I didnt want to fall into the trap of cramming everything to close
and i wanted to rock here :-)

>I would pull the BGVs down just a hair throughtout the song, and maybe
> even the lead vocal right at the beginning...just a bit, though,
> nowhere near as low as it was before

Yeh maybe but I left em as i was tired LOL

I also added some other weird stuff to try and titilate the listener.

I did re-record all the backing vocals, and was really pleased with
some of the high notes
I managed to do (LOL)

The bloody trouble with this lark is it never ends, so I decided it
does here
so I can get on with another song

:-)

I am dreading al the work on the songs I will have to do on my GROWL
album
if I really want them to hit the mark though

Thanks once  for your time - you I trust


James
http://w.ukjay.co.uk













On 31 Aug, 00:09, StudioRat81  wrote:
> On Aug 30, 8:27 am, UkJay  wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Hi
>
> > I've just finished the remix of "Try It On" yeh it's titled "Try It On
> > - Remix"
> > I hope that all the advice given has paid off with this version?
>
> > I would be very interested on any more feedback of this remix - Thanks
> > It's at the same place - Overplay
>
> >http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk
>
> > On 26 Aug, 09:52, UkJay  wrote:
>
> > > Hi
> > > I've just completed my latest song titled "Try it on" this was
> > > inspired by walking round
> > > Marks & Spencers, where they have a sign "Try it on"   ;-)
> > > Who would have thought a trip out shopping with the wife would result
> > > in another song?
>
> > > Could you please take a listen and if you get chance give me any
> > > feedback on the song or the recording of it?
> > > At the moment I have uploaded it here ( should also be on myspace
> > > later )
>
> > >http://www.overplay.co.uk/JamesLazzari
>
> > > Jameshttp://www.ukjay.co.uk-Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Well, you're definitely getting warmer. There is alot more interest
> being generated than before. You could go even further by using some
> type of melody over the keyboard line at the start of the song,
> whether with a guitar or something else. Maybe an alternate version of
> a guitar lick you use later in the song. You really want to reach out
> and grab the listener straight away. The way you have it arranged now,
> you are essentially asking them to sit around and wait for you to
> start singing. There needs to be something to peak their interest
> almost immediately.
>
> As for the mix, I would pull the guitars in towards the center a bit
> more. You have very few elements in your song, and leaving them spread
> so far apart leaves too much open space between the speakers. Bring
> everything in tighter, and it should start to blend and sound more
> like a unit instead of seperate instruments. Spreading things out
> definitely makes it easier to mix, but at the risk of losing that
> intangible mesh that locks everything together and makes it a song.
> Also, is there a kick drum thumping away on the left channel, or is
> that palm mutes on the guitar? Either way, the rhythm isn't locking in
> with the main drum line, and it's making things sound a little messy.
>
> I would pull the BGVs down just a hair throughtout the song, and maybe
> even the lead vocal right at the beginning...just a bit, though,
> nowhere near as low as it was before...and then as the song
> progresses, you can begin to bump it up little by little as a way of
> building intensity. sid is right in saying that mixing is a dynamic
> process. The perfect mix will breathe with the song. Levels and
> settings should almost never stay completely the same throughout. If
> you notice the changes, though, they are too drastic, unless you are
> specifically going for some type of effect. It has to be very subtle
> so as not to call attention to itself and snap the listener out of the
> vibe you are trying to put them in.
>
> Also, I'm not sure if this is something you've added since re-mixing,
> or if it was just being covered up by the keyboard in the earlier
> version, but the string section part that you put into the chorus is
> definitely a plus. It really adds warmth and the right kind of energy
> for this track. The chorus is really starting to mesh now, so turn
> your focus towards keeping people invested in the song long enough to
> get there.
>
> All in all, a definite improvement, but if you'll learn to adopt the
> mindset of a person who will be listening to your track, you can
> continue to tweak both the arrangement and the mix until your song has
> the maximum amount of appeal, and pulls the listener through from
> start to finish.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

cccc

I beg to differ       

James
http://www.ukjay.co.uk


On 9 Sep, 13:03,         wrote:
> cccc