The Geordie Thermometer



50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Geordies plant their gardens.



40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Geordies Sunbathe.



30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Geordies drive with their windows 
down



20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Geordies throw a 
t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)



10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate. Geordies go swimming in the North 
Sea.



Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Geordies have the last 
barbecue before it gets cold.



Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Geordies throw on a 
lightweight jacket.



Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it's worth it. Geordie Boy scouts 
start wearing long trousers.



Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Geordies put on 
their long johns.



Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Geordies become frustrated because the 
pubs are shut.



Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. The cows on 
Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.



Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Geordies start to stamp their 
feet and blow on their hands.





Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over..........Sunderland qualify for Europe.