Pure dead brullyant!

You know you are a true Scot if......

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,
Sauchiehall, Auchtermuchty and Awfurfuksake

2. Ye actually like deep fried pizza fae the chippie

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day

4. Ye cannae pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall aboot pished withoot spillin yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits wi Burberry accessories - Pure Class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. ye kin understaun Rab C. Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in
yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think its like gaun tae the ocean

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer words

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and still like eating it.

12. Somedy ye ken his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur weddin date.

13. Ye've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
church/Chapel

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,
irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has Calor gas under it

16. Ye know Irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understaun this and ur gonnae send it tae yer pals.

19. Finally, you are 100% True Scot if you have ever said/heard these
phrases:

Hos it hingin

Clatty

boggin

cludgie

pished

get it up ye

wee beasties

erse bandit

amurny

away an bile yer heid

peely-wally

humphy backit

Ba' heid

baw bag

dubble nugget

And finally....

A wee Glesga wummin goes intae a Butchershop, where the butcher has just
came oot the freezer, and is staunin haunds ahint his back, wi his erse
aimed at an electric fire.
The wee wummin checks oot the display case and asks:
"is that yer Ayrshire Bacon?"

"Naw," replies the butcher "Its jist ma hauns ah'm heatin."