I left my ex husband in January and couldnt take my 3 kids with me as I dint 
want to be homless with them, also due to the fact that my eldest is a 
daddies girl and didnt want to leave her dad, I didnt want to split them up 
either.  He has since met someone else and moved someone in who already has 
3 kids and she is now 3 months pregant with their child. I have weekend 
visitation as I dont ahve a car and work in the week, i also live a good 
jaunt from them, since he has been with his new partner I feel that my kids 
are becoming second best, when they turn up to meet me, they look unkept 
with dirty faces badly worn trainers etc, i feel he is doing it on purpose 
as im having to use what little money i have to buy them new shoes etc, I 
work 40 hours a week for a min wage. him and his partner do not work and 
with 6 kids you can imagine the benefits they receive, I want my kids back 
with me, where i know they will get the time and attention they need and not 
left to their own devices to get dressed etc. As part of the divore process 
I had to fill i a form concerning arrangements for the children and Im 
wondering, even though I filled that in would I be able to fight for custody.
 They are my children not my posseswios and i dont want to cause them undue 
distress, but im not sleeping and making myself sick with worry due to this. 
 Im not a bad mum for walking away from the relationship and I miss them so 
much

url:http://www.myreader.co.uk/gp/1005-1.aspx

jenny ellis wrote:

> I left my ex husband in January and couldnt take my 3 kids with me as
> I dint want to be homless with them, also due to the fact that my
> eldest is a daddies girl and didnt want to leave her dad, I didnt
> want to split them up either.  He has since met someone else and
> moved someone in who already has 3 kids and she is now 3 months
> pregant with their child. I have weekend visitation as I dont ahve a
> car and work in the week, i also live a good jaunt from them, since
> he has been with his new partner I feel that my kids are becoming
> second best, when they turn up to meet me, they look unkept with
> dirty faces badly worn trainers etc, i feel he is doing it on purpose
> as im having to use what little money i have to buy them new shoes
> etc, I work 40 hours a week for a min wage. him and his partner do
> not work and with 6 kids you can imagine the benefits they receive, I
> want my kids back with me, where i know they will get the time and
> attention they need and not left to their own devices to get dressed
> etc. As part of the divore process I had to fill i a form concerning
> arrangements for the children and Im wondering, even though I filled
> that in would I be able to fight for custody.   They are my children
> not my posseswios and i dont want to cause them undue distress, but
> im not sleeping and making myself sick with worry due to this.   Im
> not a bad mum for walking away from the relationship and I miss them
> so much
> 
> url: http://www.myreader.co.uk/gp/1005-1.aspx



You now have an inckling how fathers feel in the same situation and the
financial pressures placed upon them


They are not your children they have a father too , making them a
battleground will blow up in your face

--Have you bothered to ask the children what THEY want 

this is about how they feel not you or your ex , courts do tend to take
into consideration what children want now

You can fight for custody if you wish , ask yourself though will yuo
gaining custody and giving up work actually benifit the children or
just make you feel better will they be better off

"jenny ellis"  wrote in message 
news:0fe4378f01e545d495fe1ea7ec440188@newspe.com...
>I left my ex husband in January and couldnt take my 3 kids with me as I 
>dint
> want to be homless with them, also due to the fact that my eldest is a
> daddies girl and didnt want to leave her dad, I didnt want to split them 
> up
> either.  He has since met someone else and moved someone in who already 
> has
> 3 kids and she is now 3 months pregant with their child. I have weekend
> visitation as I dont ahve a car and work in the week, i also live a good
> jaunt from them, since he has been with his new partner I feel that my 
> kids
> are becoming second best,

indeed their mother left them.

> when they turn up to meet me, they look unkept
> with dirty faces badly worn trainers etc, i feel he is doing it on purpose
> as im having to use what little money i have to buy them new shoes etc,

Are you paying him anything (e.g. through the CSA)?

> I work 40 hours a week for a min wage. him and his partner do not work

Was he working when you had the first one?
Was he working when you had the second one?
Was he working when you had the third one?

> and with 6 kids you can imagine the benefits they receive,

Indeed, we who don't have kids have to pay for those who do.

> I want my kids back
> with me, where i know they will get the time and attention they need and 
> not
> left to their own devices to get dressed etc. As part of the divore 
> process
> I had to fill i a form concerning arrangements for the children and Im
> wondering, even though I filled that in would I be able to fight for 
> custody.
> They are my children not my posseswios and i dont want to cause them undue
> distress, but im not sleeping and making myself sick with worry due to 
> this.
> Im not a bad mum for walking away from the relationship and I miss them so
> much

Worth a try I suspect - the courts usually favour the mother, and with 
another child on the way your ex and his new partner will probably both be 
glad if you take them.

>
> url:http://www.myreader.co.uk/gp/1005-1.aspx