Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and
the walk home is taking some time due to their intoxicated state.

Eventually, they find themselves desperate for a wee.At that particular
moment, they are passing a church and decide to go behind the headstones in
the graveyard. As they finish they both realise they have nothing to
'freshen-up' with so the first woman decides to use her knickers and then
throw them away.

The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to
lose them, when she notices a new grave nearby with lots of fresh flowers,
amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with a thick soft ribbon. 'Just the
job' she decides and without another thought, duly drags the bouquet over
and uses the ribbon to dry herself.

Their task completed, the women continue staggering home.

Next morning, the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the
second. "We need to keep an eye on our wives. Mine came home with no
knickers on last night.

"You think you've got problems"exclaims the second husband "My wife came
home last night with a card stuck up her arse that said, "We'll Never Forget
You - From all the lads at the Fire Station"

via Edith.

It's hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it,
but, here is one:

 Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in
the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech
says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The
birch says he cannot tell.
 Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says,
 "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a
 beech or a son of a birch?"
 The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither
 a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
 It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
 Wipe that smile off your face!

via Edith