"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd
better have a good hand."  Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women.  Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."   Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are
unimportant." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
relationship."  Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf
is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."  Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."    Jack
Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might for get where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."   Barbara Bush (Former US
First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had  a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet."    Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."   Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"          Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,  'I know
what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."             Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time."        Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money
can buy."       Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little
things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay
good money for in later life."      Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."  Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns



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Good collection: thanks Al

J.

Very funny! I did enjoy them.

Rex

"Norcot"  wrote in message
news:MPd1e.239$Sr.56@newsfe6-win.ntli.net...

> Very funny! I did enjoy them.
>
> Rex


I too....

Edith.

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

bwaaaaahahaha-so funny

Having sex is like playing Russian roulette.

Edith.

The Traveller wrote:

>  It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
> George Burns
> 
> bwaaaaahahaha-so funny
> 
> Having sex is like playing Russian roulette.
> 
> Edith.


Hmmm. I wouldn't go that far. Mae West is more optimistic. For example, 
she said: "A hard man is good to find."