Mr Marini
Times were hard for Old Mr Marini, since Mr McDonald
opened a fancy new burger-joint opposite the Post Office.
Every day, Mr Marini could look down the Main Street and
see that Archie Tunnock's workers from the Caramel Wafer
Factory were now eating Big-Macs instead of his bonnie fish.
"Oh, Woe is'a me" he said.
"All'a these years I been'a slaving over a hoat fish fryer
to serve'a the people of Uddingston, and now Mr McDonald
comes alang and gives away toys an'a hats wi' the Big-a-Macs.
I am a doomed. Holy Mary-a-Mother-o-Goad."
But last Wednesday was different. At half past eleven,
Mr Marini looked into his fish fryer, and was astonished
to see a great big haddock doing the back-stroke and
singing, "O lucky me, I'm as happy as can be"
Suddenly, the haddock winked at him, and waved with his fin.
Old Mr Marini was completely taken aback and rubbed his
eyes in disbelief.
"Hey, Guiseppe.can I call you Guiseppe.
Look at my swimming.cool.man.
I'm Harry the Haddock and I've brought my friends to help you.
Hey, watch this!"
Harry the Haddock did a forward somersault
Maria, Maria, didda ya see that" he said in his Italian accent.
"See whit, Guiseppe, am-a-busy the noo wi' the the tatties"
replied Maria.
Mr Marini, decided to keep quiet and looked around
to see if anyone was watching, and whispered.
"You cannna help me Harry, I'm-a doomed, I'm-a doomed"
From the hot shelf above the fryer, a voice called out,
"That isn't true Guiseppe, I'm Freddie Fritter, and we all-a
going to help you. Freddie the Fritter had a round face and a
great big Irish smile. He came from a long line of Connemara
potatos.
"A'm a no'a deed yet"
"Yes, its true, we'll all chip in" said big fat Henrietta Haggis,
from another shelf.
"And-a how am I gonna do that" doubted Mr Marini
"Oh, dear, what now" groaned lazy old Sammy Sausage.
"Why does everyone keep waking me up". Sammy Sausage,
had no brains, but he always listened to Henrietta Haggis,
the bossy one.
They all decided to have a meeting in the Fish Basket. Harry
the Haddock in his bright golden brown suit of batter took the chair.
Charlie Chip, and all the little chips squeezed into the baskets
at the front. There was great excitement and all the little chips
were singing and shouting, and bobbing up and down.
"Oh, I can't be bothered with all this." Said Sammy Sausage,
but Henrietta Haggis, who was much bigger than him, pushed
him into the Fish basket.
Boring old Black Pudding said nothing. He never did.
He just wanted to be in amongst the chips, or sitting on
the shelf reading the mustard jar label.
Vinnie Vinegar and Solly Sauce, who were half fu' took
up their positions on the condiment rack at the back.
At last it looked as though the meeting was about to start.
"Can everyboady hear me", said Harry the Haddock.
We could tell that Harry had spoken to chips and sausages before.
"We're ok at the back" said Vinnie Vinegar, sp
eaking also for Solly Sauce.
Solly Sauce was a bit thick, he thought.
Harry got up on his rear fin and said,
"It's time we all put our best foot forward, or fin,
for the sake of Mr Marini.
"Chips.
I want you bunch to smarten up your act, and Sammy, its your turn
to be the smart sausage". Henrietta Haggis agreed and waved a
finger at Sammy, as if to say he'd better do what he was told.
Black Pudding just rolled over and Philip the Flounder, who had
been hiding out of sight popped up and waved a fin in agreement.
"Any questions or suggestions", said Harry the Haddock.
"Well", said Charlie the Chip. I think if our Oil
had mair sizzle, things would be better."
That's it, they all agreed. Mair sizzle was needed and there was
only one way to make that happen. Henrietta told Mr Marini to
'turna-the-gas-up'.
Soon, all the haddock were golden brown and crispy,
and the chips were wearing a nice new golden look and
were smiling out of the pan.
Later that day, Betty popped in and saw all the cheery
looking Chips and Fish. She told here pals that Mr Marini had
the nicest new fish and chips ye ever did see.
Quickly, word spread roon the Caramel Wafer Factory
aboot Mr Marini's astonishing new Fish and Chips.
Next day, Betty came into the shop. She asked for
36 Fish-ana-Chips to start off, and Archie Tunnock had sent oot
for a Black Pudding Supper and a bottle of Irn Bru.
"Maria, Maria, mair chips, mair-a chips the lassies from-a Tunnocks
ara here again. Yippee"
"And Airchie Tunnock, he want-a a Black-a-PuddinG-a Supper"
Sure enough, Maria looked up the street and Mr McDonald
was jumping up and down and waving his fist.
Harry the Haddock just winked and Sammy Sausage went
back to sleep. Old Mr Marini woke up and scratched his head.
"Ach-a I been dreamin' again"
"Not this time Guiseppe, I'm Harry the Haddock
Time tae put the Chips oan, and mind the sizzle"
Glenallan
---------
Date:Sun, 17 Jul 2005 23:28:03 +0100
Author:
|